Found a backyard hop garden, how to approach?

Driving around last night on errands, I drove past a house that has quite the hop network out back. At least 2 poles, T'd at the top, with leads for at least 4 plants per setup. I'm thinking I may have missed some, but a guy(or gal) that has 8 hop plants growing is a homebrewer. They are in my little community (within 3 miles).

Now, I don't want to be a creeper and spy, nor be like my mother-in-law and knock on the door acting like they are my long lost kin.

How would you approach? My first thought is simply a note, pointing them here, with my name and number on it. Maybe do the same, but pin it to a bottle of homebrew. I'm not really sure, my wife says let it go. Screw that. There are hops to be shared!

Your thoughts. Thanks.

I'd knock and say you noticed the hops and wondered if he a fellow brewer.

Throw a bottle of your home brew through their window, stand in their yard and yell "What know, mutha^&*#$@!" They say adversity reveals character.

Cayuga said:

How would you approach?

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Ninja raid while he sleeps.

Cut an run. :cross:

I like your idea of a bottle of homebrew in the mailbox. Little note on it "hey neighbor, beautiful hops! Contact me here if you wanna talk brewing. Enjoy the beer..."

I'm a New Yorker and even I dont think reaching out to a neighbor is creepy...

Knock on the door homebrew in hand. Nothing beats face to face.

"Noticed your hops...you a homebrewer? I like meeting other brewers in the area"

TyTanium said:

Knock on the door homebrew in hand. Nothing beats face to face.

"Noticed your hops...you a homebrewer? I like meeting other brewers in the area"

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This. Don't drop and run, that's way more creepy than just "hey man, saw the hops I live down the street and brew myself"

McBrewskie said:

This. Don't drop and run, that's way more creepy than just "hey man, saw the hops I live down the street and brew myself"

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Yep, I'd save the homebrew swapping until you meet.

IrregularPulse said:

Yep, I'd save the homebrew swapping until you meet.

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Yep, I had neighbors growing up that had hop vines all over their gazebo. They never harvested or brewed, but they thought it looked pretty.

Look closely. You know hops is kin to cannibus.

Cayuga said:

Driving around last night on errands, I drove past a house that has quite the hop network out back. At least 2 poles, T'd at the top, with leads for at least 4 plants per setup. I'm thinking I may have missed some, but a guy(or gal) that has 8 hop plants growing is a homebrewer. They are in my little community (within 3 miles).

Now, I don't want to be a creeper and spy, nor be like my mother-in-law and knock on the door acting like they are my long lost kin.

How would you approach? My first thought is simply a note, pointing them here, with my name and number on it. Maybe do the same, but pin it to a bottle of homebrew. I'm not really sure, my wife says let it go. Screw that. There are hops to be shared!

Your thoughts. Thanks.

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I say just wait til you see someone in the yard. Weekends are generally yard work days and if they have hop vines I am guessing they tend their own gardens.

Don't assume they brew because they have hops. One of my best contacts in my hop daze was a horticulturist that was mystified by hops. despite her training she just couldn't make them thrive in Oklahoma. She was actually taking notes from me. Ultimately, I threw in the towel too. Dug up all the crowns and gave most of them to her.

TheDudeLebowski said:

Look closely. You know hops is kin to cannibus.

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Except the cousin doesn't vine 20 foot up everything within 20 feet.

This is knowledge taken purely from books, mind you.

GilaMinumBeer said:

I say just wait til you see someone in the yard. Weekends are generally yard work days and if they have hop vines I am guessing they tend their own gardens.

Don't assume they brew because they have hops. One of my best contacts in my hop daze was a horticulturist that was mystified by hops. despite her training she just couldn't make them thrive in Oklahoma. She was actually taking notes from me. Ultimately, I threw in the towel too. Dug up all the crowns and gave most of them to her.



Except the cousin doesn't vine 20 foot up everything within 20 feet.

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CreamyGoodness said:

This is knowledge taken purely from books, mind you.

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It's all book smarts until it's utilized successfully.

Then it becomes wisdom.

You arent helping... I was trying to say you ARENT a pothead :fro::cross:

GilaMinumBeer said:

It's all book smarts until it's utilized successfully.

Then it becomes wisdom.

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CreamyGoodness said:

You arent helping... I was trying to say you ARENT a pothead :fro::cross:

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Real knowledge comes from personal experience.

I retired all that years ago.

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom" ~William Blake

CreamyGoodness said:

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom" ~William Blake

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"Not all drugs are good, all right?"

"Some of them … are great!"

"Just gotta know your way around them, is all."

- Bill Hicks

Wow, you guys.

Now I wonder if Hops and cannibis are interchangeable. I know someone has tried.

KavDaven said:

Now I wonder if Hops and cannibis are interchangeable. I know someone has tried.

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One has Alpha, the other does not. Both have been used in brewing. Only one has become commonplace.

Wow, we just quoted William Blake AND Bill Hicks in a single thread. The world smells like pine and wonder again.

CreamyGoodness said:

Wow, we just quoted William Blake AND Bill Hicks in a single thread. The world smells like pine and wonder again.

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No mah! It's Ralph Lauren Polo, I swear it.

I like the note idea; here let me right it for you,
I was driving around the other day, just looking for some young children to give free candy to out of the back of my van. When I came across your home, I found it very interesting and while looking in your back yard, I saw something that really liked and would like to see more of. It looked like one of the nicest things that I have seen in a long time. Would like to get together with you and your family and talk about this.
Eagerly waiting for your response
Wild Bill

And make sure that you spray the note with some Prada Colon.

Wont this Prada chap be needing to keep his colon?

Wow, I open the door for some advice, and a damn party breaks out. Sad thing is, there were kids in the backyard.

I'll just stop by and speak face to face. Though I do like the adversity angle. Well played sir.

Hopefully they aren't home brewers and you can come and take all of their hops.

I'd do the note thing, but cut letters out of newspapers and stick 'em on the paper.

This is what I would do:

Watch the wife of the house, take notes of her habits, where she shops, etc. Then proceed to have a random "Run in" with her at some store in public, introduce yourself, and butter her up. Plan/try to meet her again some time. If she turns you down, either repeat or go to plan B.

Continue meeting with her whenever possible and drop a hint of your hobby of homebrewing, try to get closer to her. See how she feels about the hobby, Somewhere along the way in here, seduce her. This works even better if she lets you in her house for some of the rendezvous as you get a chance to sample some of the home brew as well. Around harvest time, ask her if you can get in to harvest some hops. If all is going well and you are playing your cards right she wont be liking her husband around this time and she will help you harvest all of the hops just to spite her husband. After you get the hops, explain it would never work between you and her as you still love your wife and want to make amends with you family.

This is the best option as you get his hops, beer, and woman. Should make for an interesting fun summer.

Plan B. Monitor the house for all activity, take notes of when people come and go. Who leaves when, what vehicle is who's, when are they home, when are they gone, etc. After a month or 2 of steady monitoring and you have their habits figured out, wait until it is just about harvest time for the hops, you can't wait too long, as you need to beat the owner to them. Ensure the schedule you monitored them to is still accurate. Then, after everyone is gone for the day to work or school, take your buckets and a ladder over there and harvest everything you can. This is best during the day as it looks less suspicious and you can safely see what you are doing. Just be sure you are finished harvesting and long gone before anyone gets back home.

Somewhere along the way in here, seduce her.

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Because this part of the plan requires no planning at all.

Bunch of perverts and psychos in here. Knock on the door and just introduce yourself then tie him and his family up while you harvest the hops.

McBrewskie said:

Bunch of perverts and psychos in here. Knock on the door and just introduce yourself then tie him and his family up while you harvest the hops.

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You say that like its a bad thing.

Zuljin said:

Because this part of the plan requires no planning at all.

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This should be the easiest part. Can be enjoyable as well.

I'm still thinking about that cousin plant.

IrregularPulse said:

I'd knock and say you noticed the hops and wondered if he a fellow brewer.

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This, though you should also be bearing at LEAST a bottle of homebrew to lubricate the gears, either way, you might make a friend.
Regards, GF.

McBrewskie said:

Bunch of perverts and psychos in here. Knock on the door and just introduce yourself then tie him and his family up while you harvest the hops.

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Best idea of the lot, bloody oath! Best make sure not to use hemp ropes, the whole alphabetacannabinoid family thing might give it away.. use nylon, your hair and body skin DNA is less likely to stick! Especially if its a well manufactured rope. Or go for chains, they never let anyone down.. just in case they have a knife or something in their back pocket. Not that I'd know of course! I'd just let it fly, plant my own crop of hop, make them jealous and have them come to you, offering interchangeable agreements. Different types intrigue different people.. really aromatic heads, with great full foliage will intrigue

Just knock on the door and tell them you noticed their nice hop trellis. And was wondering if they... wet hop. If they look at you funny, RUN.

Cayuga said:

Driving around last night on errands, I drove past a house that has quite the hop network out back. At least 2 poles, T'd at the top, with leads for at least 4 plants per setup. I'm thinking I may have missed some, but a guy(or gal) that has 8 hop plants growing is a homebrewer. They are in my little community (within 3 miles).

Now, I don't want to be a creeper and spy, nor be like my mother-in-law and knock on the door acting like they are my long lost kin.

How would you approach? My first thought is simply a note, pointing them here, with my name and number on it. Maybe do the same, but pin it to a bottle of homebrew. I'm not really sure, my wife says let it go. Screw that. There are hops to be shared!

Your thoughts. Thanks.

Click to expand...

Here's how one member approached a similar situation:
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/neighbors-308113/
Regards, GF.

Cayuga...well? What happened?

Here's the update.

I cold-knocked on the door this evening. Turns out, my mother has his kid in kindergarten, and they know who I am through soccer.

He's been brewing seriously for the last 6 years. Loves good beer. Is thrilled that we are starting up a local homebrew club, and then the hops.

Good part - He has 16 plants growing out back. Actually tried to grow his own barley last year, but the rabbits beat him to it.

Best part - He has more hops at his fathers house. 60 more. 60. that's right, 60.

He was on his way out the door for work, and my pizza was ready, so I gave him my number and told him we'd discuss more over a good beer. He quickly agreed and that was it.

No rope was involved, no glass was shattered, no kids were in danger. It was cool. He actually seemed pleasantly surprised. I was too. 60. Six zero.

Good job Cayuga. Now you know.

Doesn't get much better than that.