SWMBO doesn't really enjoy eating an entire jalapeño, and the batch I just made was "way too hot" (her words, not mine). However, she really likes the commercially available poppers that usually don't contain an entire pepper.
Next time I'm going to slice the peppers lengthwise into thirds, and be careful to remove the white pith completely. Then I'll mound a generous portion of filling on each slice, bread it, and bake/fry. I think that should tone down the heat a few notches while keeping the wonderful flavor.
By the way, I LOVED THESE! I ate mine with a scoop of raspberry preserves on the side, and they were AWESOME!