Cool Cucumber Salsa
 

It's not very spicy, so Pico de Gallo might be a better description, but it's a salsa.

You'll need
1 medium sized onion
3 cucumbers
2ish cloves garlic
3 tomatoes
1 "bunch" cilantro
2-4 jalepenos
I packet ranch dressing mix
a few tablespoons white/rice wine vinegar

You'll also need sharp knives, and a classy, expensive cutting board such as mine.
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Chop up your onion, smash the garlic, then chop that as well
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Peel, quarter, de-seed and chop up your cucumber
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More below....

But the mix is so bland!
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Add some color!
Thoroughly rinse your cilantro, and turn this:
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Into this:
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Chop up your jalepenos and tomatoes, and forget to take pictures of your tomatoes.
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more...

Mix, add your packet of ranch, sprinkle some vinegar over it, mix again, and you're golden!
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One thing that I haven't been able to eliminate with this recipe is the amount of liquid that comes out of the cucumber. I've even tried salting the chopped cucumber first, and then rinsing it no worky. I've sort of given up, the liquid that comes off makes a killer marinade for chicken breasts.

If you have a lime, adding some lime juice is tasty too.

I make a salad with equal parts cucumber and tomato and some chopped basil leaves. To dress it, take the juice of one lime, add 2 tsp of sugar and then add in fish sauce to taste. I like it about 1:1. Mix and toss. Garnish with crushed peanuts. Cool and refreshing.