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Old 03-31-2009, 05:07 AM   #1
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Default BrewBrain Drinks a BMC

M to be exact. I will type my brew review as I suck down a Miller Genuine Draft.

I had what I believe was a Bud Light at a baseball game two years ago. I hated it, especially as it warmed up. Prior to that, I can't remember the last time I tasted BMC. However, MGD was my beer of choice when my friends who could grow beards got us beer. I'm giddy with excitement. I'm looking forward to renewing this acquaintance, although I can't imagine I'll like it given what I remember thinking when I tasted my first craft beer.

I bought a 24-pack for a poker game I hosted, not knowing how many BMC-only drinkers there's be. I knew one for sure. I don't think he trusted me as he brought Boddingtons. I hated that too. Not sure if it counts as BMC, but it should. Nobody drank the MGD. We went through a keg of my House Amber instead.

And now, my review: Miller Genuine Draft from the can:

The pour form the aluminum can straight from the refrigerator into my Pilsner glass is crystal clear pale gold. I could watch Big Love through my glass and know Margine is the hot one. It's got a thin pure white head that dissipates almost immediately to a ring around the top of the glass. It is obviously well carbonated and the bubble show is non-stop.

The scent right after the pour is actually quite pleasant with floral scents dominating. It smells almost like real hops. Somehow, like magic, it disappears after about 7 seconds and is replaced by a distinctly oiled steel smell.

The flavor is where things begin to really fall apart. You know when you go out for pizza like you never do any more since the kids started showing up? And you have full access to the all-you-can-drink soda fountain (pop where I come from)? And you get all excited because you haven't tasted Mountain Dew since that weekend job at Dairy Queen and you just can't wait for the sweet stickiness to light your tastebuds on fire? Forget it. The syrup is about out and you got a glass of retched soda water with slightly gross sweet flavor in the background. You now have the flavor of freshly lubed car parts on the back of your tongue.

You're not sure if you are really supposed to dump it out into that tray, and it is possible it will overflow, but you do it anyway very quickly and go for the coke.

This tastes exactly like that bad Mountain Dew pour. Arrogant Bastard beckons. I think I heard him laughing at me when I reached over his head and pulled the MGD out.

Mouthfeel: It's not as light as I was expecting because of the very heavy carbonation. I dunno....at the moment, I feel like my stomach has expanded and I may hurl. I should have thought about mouthfeel earlier. I still have half a glass and I am completely filled up. I don't know if I can finish.

Comments as the beer warms and I try my best to work to the bottom of the glass:

Oh, holy hell this isn't easy. I think I smell boiled corn now as the beer warms up a bit. It even tastes a little like old boiled corn now, but the water the corn was boiled in was thrown out, replaced and reboiled. I'm now drinking the reboiled corn water. Twice boiled corn soup? sort of. Mixed with soda water.

I swirled the beer in my glass to try and build the head back up and get a fresh wiff of the floral scents, but no dice. It only builds a thin layer of bubbles. It sounds like rice krispies as they pop off and go away. No floral scents, just twice boiled corn.

I'm going to let the last bit warm up to the temp I drink my craft beers. I need to vent sometime soon. Good Lord the carbonation in this thing is enough to power a small city. I feel like I swallowed a box of pop rocks.

OK, warmth has set in. I sniffed the glass and can't equate the scent to anything that makes me happy. It's sort of boiled corn still I guess. It's not a pleasant scent at all, really. Sort of like spilled beer smells the next day.

The flavor has really changed and flattened out into a bland indescribableness. I really can't say what it tastes like. Saltless sweat maybe? Yick, I just poured the last big gulp into my pie hole and about couldn't swallow it. I started to gag, but this is science. I got it down.

Overview: That was positively disgusting. I see on here how some of you like to pick up the BMC because it's cheap, or good lawnmower beer or whatever. I cannot imagine a setting where SNPA wouldn't be a better, more refreshing choice by one point seven billion miles. If this was my lawnmower beer I'd be growing monkeys in my front yard by now. Why the hell would anybody drink this crap over straight tap water? I'm completely stumped.

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Old 03-31-2009, 09:36 PM   #2
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Great review, couldn't have said it any better It's beyond me why people drink that stuff, I never even used it for beer pong, always used SNPA or something similar. People thought I was crazy.

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Old 04-01-2009, 03:00 AM   #3
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Before I drank crafts and micros, MGD was my favorite beer. Back in those days a 6 pack could last a month or more, so that might say something in itself.

The problem with your review is the serving vessel. MGD is meant to be consumed from the can not a pilsner glass. Kidding.

I haven't had an MGD in so long I can't remember what it tastes like, and I really don't care to find out again.

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Old 04-01-2009, 04:30 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McKBrew View Post
Before I drank crafts and micros, MGD was my favorite beer. Back in those days a 6 pack could last a month or more, so that might say something in itself.

The problem with your review is the serving vessel. MGD is meant to be consumed from the can not a pilsner glass. Kidding.

I haven't had an MGD in so long I can't remember what it tastes like, and I really don't care to find out again.
Same story. It was my beer too, but I never liked it or any of the others. I'd drink with my buddies, but if I had a sixer in my fridge it would grow mold
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Old 04-01-2009, 04:47 PM   #5
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Brilliant review! Really, really good.

The thing that kills me most with the BMC beers nowadays is the carbonation. Like you said, "enough to power a small city"... I turn into a belch factory immediately.

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Old 04-01-2009, 09:27 PM   #6
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I've been testing "poor beers" because recently I has a poor in my pocket. lol

I bought a 4-pack of High Life tall boys one night when we had a small party. I tried to get my wife to taste some but she smelled it first. She said that it smelled like sewer. After that all I could smell was sewer with every sip. SWMBO hit the nail on the head with that call.

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Old 07-19-2009, 09:29 PM   #7
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Obviously you guys have way too much money... why don't you throw some my way.
Lately with the economy and my unfortunate profession of commercial painter. I've only worked a weeks worth of days in the last month. Of course, I'm not going to quit drinking. I'll admit it. I'm an alcoholic! I've cut almost all of the the other bad habits out of my life. I wont quit smoking either but that's a different story. Anyway, I can't justify the 40 bucks for an extract kit. I can't even afford BMC right now. So, I've resorted to drinking malt liquor. The cheaper and higher ABV the better. I've come quite fond of Old English High Gravity 800. In all actuality it isn't too bad...
ICE COLD!
It really has to be ICE COLD!
I always bring it home from the local gas stop and shop and pop in in the freezer for about an hour. Then it is tolerable.
That's just my little rant.

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Old 07-19-2009, 10:02 PM   #8
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beautifully written.

That being said, I'm about two hours away from a party for which I bought natural light (naty light) for people to play beer pong. You really shouldn't chug good beer, it upsets the gods.

Still, I'll be the "arrogant bastard" sipping on some Lagunitas Hop Stoopid all night.

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Old 07-19-2009, 11:12 PM   #9
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Used to love MGD from a bucket of ice water. Chilled to the point where anything is flavorless, it's great.

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