A cowboy in Texas got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding.
The trooper started to lecture the cowboy about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the cowboy feel uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The cowboy said, "Having some problem with Circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of Circle flies."
So the cowboy says, "Well, circle flies are common on ranches. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket.
Then after a minute, he stops and says, "Are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"
The cowboy says, "No, Sir. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass."
The trooper says, "Well that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the cowboy says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
That's good ! I'll use that one on one of my horse boarders.
I thought it would eventually get back to that animal thing again. Let it go Sudsmonkey let it go...BTW, your turn to pick up the tab. Looks like the Gorilla is bartending tonight. Sorry Man!
Damn Gorilla !!! One little indiscretion, and you can never live it down. Yeah, I got the tab. Glad you could make it.
Forgetaboutit! OK here's one
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per
hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at
her and speaks in a clear voice "I know we've been married for twenty years but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases
her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,
"he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend,
and she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and
slowly increases the speed to 55.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60 mph
"I want the car, too," he continues.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes
him nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."
Moral of the Story: Women are clever. Don't Mess with them.
Wise words. At about age ten, they realize that they're smarter than us and use it against us for the rest of our lives. Not to get religious, fill in the blanks with Vishnu and Mahindra, if you like....
One day, in the Garden of Eden, Adam was talking to God. " Lord," he says, " I love this woman you've given me, but I have a few questions about her. Why did you make her look so good?" " So that you'd like her, Adam." the Lord replied. " And why did you make her smell so good ?", Adam asked. " So that you'd like her. " the Lord replied. " But Lord, tell me, why did you make her soooooo stupid ?" There was a pause, and the Lord replied, " So that SHE'D like YOU, Adam! ".
Sunday school joke.
Why Women do not like to take men on vacation....
here is why.......
Just blew beer all up in my faceshield ! Love the picture. That's pretty typical of all of us. It's always funny, no matter where you are. Why DO women put up with us ? Maybe it's the Can Lift Heavy Things part.
I really think so! :drunk:
Why women do not like to take Men on vacation...
Since I'm on a roll......
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