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**Homercidal** · 07-13-2009, 01:28 PM

He's single. Of course he's trying to bed them both! (Actually, I dont' know what being single has to do with that... He's a MAN, that's all you need to remember.)

Seriously, What are you worried about? Just be honest and tell them you had a bit too much to drink and see what happens. There's two girls, One Guy. Usually one of those girls is going to be left standing. I don't think you are giving them enough credit for common sense.

The WORST thing you could do is to try and give some lame excuses. Let them know you are interested in getting to know them both better. You can't hardly be expected to make an informed decision based on one evening chatting at a bar. At that stage, everyone is still trying to figure out the others' angle, and see what they are looking for.

You could pull a Seinfeld, where you tell the one girl you are into her sister. She will get mad and give you up, and her sister will be flattered and want to go out with you! (Actually should be called the Costanza!)

Boerderij_Kabouter · 07-13-2009, 01:41 PM

If you had a genuine interest in the girl, then you are letting yourself down by not pursuing her. I assume she is single. If a single person is so dense as to not understand that single men like talking to single women and actually talk to multiple single women *gasp* in one night, then she is not worth her salt. Sorry, but that is just silly logic.

Get her number, call her, explain yourself in self-deprecating terms, make it funny, then ask to meet her out in a non-formal venue again. Go out with some friends, AND DO NOT GET SMASHED OR EVEN CLOSE. No matter what you think, as soon as you start feeling buzzed she will start thinking you are an idiot. It may be more fun for you, but will not end well on the lady front.

Anyway, I think you should chase after her because if you don't you will always wonder.

broadbill · 07-13-2009, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the bunnay

Actually, this was your mistake. You just met both of these gals, it's not like you owed them anything. If you weren't that into the first sister, I'm guessing the number exchange wasn't even that enthusiastic. People exchange numbers for all sorts of friendly reasons it doesn't mean you are trying to bed them both. Pulling the first sister aside and spelling all that out probably A. made the situation seem way more sketchy than it was and B. embarrassed the first sister which usually doesn't bode well in family dynamics. Pursue it if you feel you must, but I agree that you are looking at an uphill battle here.

+1 to this...you showed your hand (telling the one sister you liked the other sister and not her) when instead you should have kept your cards closer to the vest and be more patient to see how the night was going to play itself out.

Yup, put this on in the L column and move on!

superfluent · 07-13-2009, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homercidal

Seriously, What are you worried about? Just be honest and tell them you had a bit too much to drink and see what happens. There's two girls, One Guy. Usually one of those girls is going to be left standing. I don't think you are giving them enough credit for common sense.

Well, it's primarilly the "getting to drunk" part that bugs me, because that is something I should be able to control myself. Getting s**tfaced is just so offputting and lame it buggs the hell out of me.

Anyways, getting shot down by women you approach is just part of the game and something one gets used to once you've decided to start dating again. It's part of their selection process, I guess.

H

superfluent · 07-13-2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by broadbill

+1 to this...you showed your hand (telling the one sister you liked the other sister and not her) when instead you should have kept your cards closer to the vest and be more patient to see how the night was going to play itself out.

Yup, put this on in the L column and move on!

I do not fully agree. In my experience, if you don't have the girlfriends on your side (that you got their approval to hit on their friend) they will pull her away from you at one time or another in a "rescue mission" and convince her you're crap. In fact, sometimes I ask the friends if it's OK with them to take their friend to the side to get to know her better. The same logic apply here -the sister was pretty much like a seriously pissed off girlfriend that was getting ready to shoot me down.

What I probably should have done was to *first* talk to the lovely one that her sister seems to have taken an interest in me during a conversation earlier in the eavning and I would like a minute to straighten things out to not hurt her feelings (or something like that). After all, I wasn't really interested in anyways.

H

BADS197 · 07-13-2009, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henrik

So, at the end of the night I had pissed of 1 girl royally, pissed of her 4 friends, made a complete fool out of myself beeing so drunk I even think I must have had some blackouts the last hour or so, and presended myself as a guy that can't handle the booze to the most interesting girl I think I've ever met in my life.

How's that for a friday night!

H

Sounds like a good night!!!!

ohiobrewtus · 07-13-2009, 05:03 PM

Stories like this make me glad that I'm not single!

**Homercidal** · 07-13-2009, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henrik

Well, it's primarilly the "getting to drunk" part that bugs me, because that is something I should be able to control myself. Getting s**tfaced is just so offputting and lame it buggs the hell out of me.

Anyways, getting shot down by women you approach is just part of the game and something one gets used to once you've decided to start dating again. It's part of their selection process, I guess.

H

I have the advantage of not knowing anything about dating. I've been happily married for 17 years and never went out to find chicks. I just get to watch it all from the sidelines.

As far as being drunk, well, it happens and they should be able to understand that. Of course they may be concerned about whether this is a common occurrence, or just a stupid mistake. Hopefully you will have the chance to convince them it was just a mistake.

It could be the the first sister was pleased by your request for a number, and when she found you chatting up her sister, she got upset at her own loss and is handling it poorly. Meaning, of course, that she is less interested in her sister's well being, and more interested in the sour grapes aspect. not great either way.

But, I still think honesty is the best policy here. Just let them know you were interested in knowing more about them.

If this is just about hooking up for a couple of nights, then that is one thing. If it's a potential relationship, then be friendly, be honest, and good things will happen.

Maybe I'm naive, but just giving out a phone number doesn't give exclusivity to anyone...

Sanveann · 07-13-2009, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henrik

*mental note: do not hit on girls named Sanveann*

H

Well, my real name is Alexis ... but don't worry -- I'm off the market, so your testicles are safe ... at least from me

superfluent · 07-13-2009, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homercidal

I have the advantage of not knowing anything about dating. I've been happily married for 17 years and never went out to find chicks. I just get to watch it all from the sidelines...

Well, my lasted for 13 years, so I know exactly what you are talking about.

It was pretty hard to start dating again when you've spent the last 13 years doing your best not to flirt with women out of respect of your partner.

I actually had to basically reprogram myself not to feel guilty when I realised girls started to take interest in me. First attempts where horrible experiences, but since I'm a pretty social guy I've grown into it quite quickly so now it's fun and exciting.

H