CreamyGoodness

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You probably wouldnt know it to listen to me, but I am one of the more polite people I know. I say please and thank you religiously, I avoid interrupting people whenever possible, and above all, I answer the question that is posed to me.

Not everyone does this. These people need at the least, schooling, and at the high end, a vicious beating about the face and neck.

Here are a few things people do that I absolutely cant stand. For the sake of the exercise, please envision that in each case, I am in the glassware section of Bed Bath and Beyond and I have asked "Excuse me, do you sell glass flip-top bottles?"

1) "Huh?"... Seriously. Whomever your manager is who trained you should be on the unemployment line. Huh indeed, you yutz.

2) "Uh... that would be on the other side" First off, what other side are you refering to? If you mean behind this wall, thats curtains. As soon as I go to curtains like an idiot, you are going to escape. Just tell me you dont know or, even better, find out for me. Lordy.

3) "Did someone tell you we did?" ok... Im not going to say that I want to see you die slowly... yet... but Im getting pretty annoyed. Firstly, you answered my question with a question, which is a deadly rhetorical sin. Secondly, lets say someone told me you sell glass flip-top bottles... are you going to find them and beat them up? Or, if they didnt, maybe you are expecting me to tell you that it came to me in a dream? Stop wasting my time and answer my frigging question... yes or no.

4) "Me?" Um... Now I'm not even sure if I meant to ask you. Dont confuse customers, its mean.

And my personal favorite, number 5). I'm really not sure why I hate this so much, but last time it happened I lost vision for a full 5 seconds and just saw flames. I was jolted out of catatonia by a loud yelp from my wife... apparently I was squeezing down on her hand like a vice grip... Here it is...

"You mean like a pitcher?"

I just took a deep breath so I could get this out. If I meant a pitcher, why in the name of all things pink and available for a willing boinking wouldnt I have asked for a pitcher? Is a glass bottle a difficult concept? Was my request, a glass bottle with a flip-top, so unreasonable and silly that you thought surely I must mean something non-ridiculous like a pitcher? I'm being flooded with a wave of personal questions and I don't like the answers to any of them. You are implying things about me that are making me rather upset.



Again, I know it sounds like a first-world problem, but I cant fathom why people do this. It happens to me all the time, I ask for adhesive clips in a stationary store and I get "you mean hooks?"... I ask for cheesecloth at a fabric store "you mean batting?"

I really really try to remain polite in these cases. I close my eyes, count to five, and just repeat myself. "no... actually I meant a glass flip-top bottle." And then I offer a little unnecessary reasoning "for putting a liquid beverage in." I then never go to that store again.

I'm not even talking just store associates, who have a hard job I know. I asked a buddy of mine "how was your gig?"... silence... "didnt you have a gig on tuesday, bro?"

he answered.... "Me?"

I stopped talking to him and checked his facebook page. His gig on tuesday went well apparently.

*Sigh!* it will pass

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You are more likely to have a threesome with members of the Japanese women's curling team whilst spinning a plate on your head than you are likely to screw up a batch of JAOM.

TCHDNSD

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Stay out of Bed Bath and Beyond. Or try Home Depot. There's never anyone there to ask a question anyway.

Varmintman

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First issue I see is a man shopping at bed beyond whatever it is called.

CreamyGoodness

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We get down a little different in New York

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You are more likely to have a threesome with members of the Japanese women's curling team whilst spinning a plate on your head than you are likely to screw up a batch of JAOM.

TyTanium

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Depends on the store and the employee. Look for the older gentlemen, they usually know their stuff. Or if the employee doesn't know, ask them if there's someone who does...they can usually find someone who knows.

HD isn't as reliable as when I was a little kid, but I've still gotten some solid help there. Or, just go to Ace.

Varmintman

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I looked the store up online just to see if we even had one in town. Kind of looks like the other side of Sears to me.

HawksBrewer

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Ha! So true. Love the rant.

progmac

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i think it is unrealistic to expect minimum wage workers to be able to understand the inventory of these mega warehouses we shop at today. they must have 10,000 products. i expect zero service at these places and don't ask questions. they are like shopping online, but in person.

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на здравје!

MyNameIsPaul

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I am quite the polite consumer as well. What infuriates me is when checking out at the grocery store/retail shop/etc. and they cashier doesn't even bother saying "Hi! Did you find everything ok? or some other prattle that acknowledges me as a customer. Then the white kid with dreads and patchouli cologne jams everything in a bag, pushes it to the side like it's a diaper and also doesn't say a word. Customers are the reason they have jobs, and not some inconvenience that is interrupting their day.

#FirstWorldProblems
#WhiteWhine
#HashtagsOnHBT

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See one melée of unruly people, and you've seen a maul.

Ostomo517

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I get a lot of my kitchen toys at BB&B but yeah I know exactly what you mean. I was begining to think it was just here. When I get those kinda answers to my questions my eyes just glaze over and I tend to have very rude things fall out of my mouth, until the fiancee smacks my arm or just interjects to spare the moron.