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07-16-2008, 08:37 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Norwalk, Ohio
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Specialist stores
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RANT:
Wouldn't you think that a "specialist store" should have specialist knowledge about what they are selling you?
Last week I went to "Cheese Haven" at Port Clinton in Ohio.They boast that they are the most diverse cheese shop in the state, selling 125 varities of cheese.....I thought great!! Although I already know a very good cheese place nearer to me that does a terrific cheddar clone, and some excellent local American cheeses, maybe at this place I can get some authentic cheddar, some good camembert and a bit of really good Stilton.
Since when did the assheaded race from the planet Dimwit swoop down from the heavens and invade the brains of half-witted sheep and send them to work in local cheese stores!!
Looking into a cabinet stuffed with great looking cheese I proceeded to ask this malformed goat-dick about his offerings:-
"Cheshire...I like cheshire...can I have a taste?".... "No. It's imported. You can't taste our imported cheeses."....... "Well, how do I know it's any good?"....."It's good because it is imported. It comes from England. It is the English equivelant of cheddar"....Now this bloke was so damn dimwitted that he didn't pick up on my OBVIOUS english accent. "The English equivelant of cheddar?" I asked. "yes. It tastes a bit like cheddar, except it has a different texture"......"Is it crumbly?" ....Oh no! It's not crumbly!! (Cheshire should be crumbly) "It's just like cheddar, except it's English (Cheddar is English) Having realised that this guy had no clue, I didn't pursue it any further and turned my eye to the French Roquefort (Pronounced rock-for) .....No, you can't taste the rockfert either....you can't taste the blue cheeses"
Anyone see where this cheese shop story is going? I don't care how Fu cking runny it is! Go forth and ....etc. etc.
I will be sticking to our alernative store in future, they don't import, but at least they know how to make good local cheeses and very respectable clones of the ones I grew up with.
Not much of a rant, I know....but at least i feel better now! 
__________________
Does this dress make my willy look big? ~ Ben Franklin
Last edited by Laughing_Gnome_Invisible; 07-16-2008 at 09:06 PM.
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07-16-2008, 08:51 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Fort Thomas, KY
Posts: 732
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Similar to this perhaps?
[youtube]c3c3qJIwMDc[/youtube]
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On Tap: American Barleywine, English Bitter, Irish Red Ale, Pumpkin Spice Ale
Brewing: English Bitter, Hopped-up Amber
Up Next: Old Ale, West Coast IPA
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07-16-2008, 08:58 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Norwalk, Ohio
Posts: 11,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adrock
Similar to this perhaps?
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Seriously, I was thinking of that sketch during the entire ordeal. It was the only thing that kept me sane(ish)! 
__________________
Does this dress make my willy look big? ~ Ben Franklin
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07-16-2008, 10:49 PM
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#4
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Burrowing Owl Brewery
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Location: Cape Coral Florida
Posts: 2,327
Liked 26 Times on 21 Posts Likes Given: 43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioBrit
Since when did the assheaded race from the planet Dimwit swoop down from the heavens and invade the brains of half-witted sheep and send them to work in local cheese stores!!
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That's the best comment I've heard since Dennis Miller called the contestants on Wheel of Fortune "chicklet lobed Morelocks"
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07-17-2008, 07:38 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Portland, OR, Oregon
Posts: 6,464
Liked 26 Times on 22 Posts Likes Given: 3
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Were there bazouki players? Can't have a cheese shop without bazouki players serenading the comestibles.
You should have just shot him.
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There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
Last edited by EvilTOJ; 07-17-2008 at 07:39 AM.
Reason: adding something completely different
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07-17-2008, 10:36 AM
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#6
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Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Detroitish" Michigan
Posts: 40,577
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Next time you're near by you should stop in and try to talk to the owner (hopefully that dim bulb) wasn't it about their ill prepared sales people as well and the no tasting policy...I've never heard of a cheese shop not allowing sample...heck, even the cheese/deli counter of most grocery stores will allow you to sample before purchasing...
"Imported!" Yeah just like skunky beer in green bottles is thought to be "better" because it is imported...even though it tastes like ass!
Sheesh...Ain't America grand? 
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Revvy's one of the cool reverends. He has a Harley and a t-shirt that says on the back "If you can read this, the bitch was Raptured. - Madman
I gotta tell ya, just between us girls, that Revvy is HOT. Very tall, gorgeous grey hair and a terrific smile. He's very good looking in person, with a charismatic personality... he drives like a ****ing maniac! - YooperBrew
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07-17-2008, 12:05 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Norwalk, Ohio
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Revvy
Next time you're near by you should stop in and try to talk to the owner (hopefully that dim bulb) wasn't it about their ill prepared sales people as well and the no tasting policy ...I've never heard of a cheese shop not allowing sample...heck, even the cheese/deli counter of most grocery stores will allow you to sample before purchasing...
"Imported!" Yeah just like skunky beer in green bottles is thought to be "better" because it is imported...even though it tastes like ass!
Sheesh...Ain't America grand? 
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Well, they did have about 6 (not nearly enough) of their 125 cheeses out for tasting. And some of the other salespeople were a lot more forthcoming than just that one guy that was standing guard over the imports and blue cheese. It was only him that was the real problem. We still came out of there $100 lighter. And all the cheese we have eaten so far has been excellent. I reckon I just let this one idiot get to me a bit too much.  However, we will still be staying with our previous source.
__________________
Does this dress make my willy look big? ~ Ben Franklin
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07-17-2008, 12:38 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Canberra, ACT Australia
Posts: 1,463
Liked 5 Times on 4 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioBrit
Well, they did have about 6 (not nearly enough) of their 125 cheeses out for tasting. And some of the other salespeople were a lot more forthcoming than just that one guy that was standing guard over the imports and blue cheese. It was only him that was the real problem. We still came out of there $100 lighter. And all the cheese we have eaten so far has been excellent. I reckon I just let this one idiot get to me a bit too much.  However, we will still be staying with our previous source.
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Don't take this the wrong way, but you owe the owner a bit of feedback. It may come back in spades...
Ring up and ask to speak to the owner. Relate your experience in the most positive and pleasant way possible. Explain your love for cheese and your purchasing habits. Most importantly, let him know of your disappointment with your shopping experience. He may sack the worthless feck and give you a gift certificate 
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This Isn't Nam Smokey, There Are Rules.
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07-17-2008, 12:43 PM
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#9
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Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Detroitish" Michigan
Posts: 40,577
Liked 2371 Times on 1457 Posts Likes Given: 3211
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeteOz77
Don't take this the wrong way, but you owe the owner a bit of feedback. It may come back in spades...
Ring up and ask to speak to the owner. Relate your experience in the most positive and pleasant way possible. Explain your love for cheese and your purchasing habits. Most importantly, let him know of your disappointment with your shopping experience. He may sack the worthless feck and give you a gift certificate 
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+1 on this..I'd call and capitalizing on the your British Accent repeat this exchange to him/her verbatum;
Quote:
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"Cheshire...I like cheshire...can I have a taste?".... "No. It's imported. You can't taste our imported cheeses."....... "Well, how do I know it's any good?"....."It's good because it is imported. It comes from England. It is the English equivelant of cheddar"....Now this bloke was so damn dimwitted that he didn't pick up on my OBVIOUS english accent. "The English equivelant of cheddar?" I asked. "yes. It tastes a bit like cheddar, except it has a different texture"......"Is it crumbly?" ....Oh no! It's not crumbly!! (Cheshire should be crumbly) "It's just like cheddar, except it's English (Cheddar is English)
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Free Cheese for a month I say... 
__________________
Like my snazzy new avatar? Get Sons of Zymurgy swag, here, and brew with the best.
Revvy's one of the cool reverends. He has a Harley and a t-shirt that says on the back "If you can read this, the bitch was Raptured. - Madman
I gotta tell ya, just between us girls, that Revvy is HOT. Very tall, gorgeous grey hair and a terrific smile. He's very good looking in person, with a charismatic personality... he drives like a ****ing maniac! - YooperBrew
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07-17-2008, 12:56 PM
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#10
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Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Norwalk, Ohio
Posts: 11,249
Liked 262 Times on 211 Posts Likes Given: 27
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Ya know, next time I'm up that way again I may just try that! I'd sell the missus for some free cheese!  I'm no shrinking violet, and have even dickered succesfully in department stores. (Much to the horror and embarrasment of the missus)
T'was funny though, normally I would have told the guy what I thought at the time. This time though was one of those instances that I found myself totally dumbstruck, unable to string a good rant together while in awe of his stupidity. 
__________________
Does this dress make my willy look big? ~ Ben Franklin
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