I hear a cure for the butt trumpet is beans. Lots and lots of baked beans.
Tell us when you start shoveling em in; I'll get my 3D glasses, popcorn, and a splatter shield.
The OP hasn't even come back since 5 minutes after his first post. Do you all think he's okay? How much wort and yeast is a safe amount? I mean, I once drank about 2 pints of partially fermented wort and whoa. Even the next day, if I had an office job I woulda been fired. Maybe he's just out looking for a new job?