Laughing_Gnome_Invisible

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I've never had one! Why does nobody want my frigging urine!?

I've been saving it up in bottles in the corner of my bedroom for months now! But noooooo no f@cker wants to test it for anything! What is the point of threatening to test my piss for narcotics if nobody wants to touch it? I have STACKS of the stuff! Hell! If some hot nurse wants to take it directly from the source, I'm game for that! Why not take a sperm sample too baby!

In the interests of fair play and cheaper insurance for everyone, I have decided to make ALL my bodily fluids available to the public. So damned available, in fact, that I will be releasing them in public areas around my town in the kind of quantity that should keep all the bodily fluid nazis out there happy for a long time to come.

In the interests of openness, I will happily piss in the face of the mayor, lay a stool at the door of the sanitation department, and lay a big fat coating of man-cum all over my employers.....If they want it, they can have it......Just don't expect me to hand it to them in nice handy plastic cups!

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Why do they never tell you they are a guy until AFTER you put your hand up their skirt?

the_bird

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Somebody has a fetish! Somebody has a fetish!

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Come join Yankee Ingenuity!

"I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch and it's only 6:30 so I can't stop drinking yet." - Yooper's Bob

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible

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Well, that too

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Why do they never tell you they are a guy until AFTER you put your hand up their skirt?

Neunelfer

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I'm not really into the golden showers.

the_bird

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Worst beer of all time. Quite serious in that.

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Come join Yankee Ingenuity!

"I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch and it's only 6:30 so I can't stop drinking yet." - Yooper's Bob

uglygoat

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[youtube]nGRPFUYUUdQ[/youtube]

a little diddy from the old country for you gnome. it rings true here as well...

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A barrel of malt, a bushel of hops, you stir it around with a stick
The kind of lubrication to make your engine tick

never argue with an idiot, they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

niquejim

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I'll be taking 2 collections of cash for this. The first to dare you to do it(with photos), and the second for your lawyers

HighPlainsDrifter

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The last time that I was in DC, my cousin and I were walking down by the Museum of Natural History and I saw a guy that had a shopping cart full of bottles. He had two liter bottles and gallon jugs full of piss, probably about 10 gallons worth. Some were yellow, some were brown, and some had a thick white layer at the bottom. I told my cousin, "look that guy is making beer". My cousin said that he was going to ask him why he had all of that piss. I was going to take a picture, but just before my cousin got to him, the guy gave us a look like he was ready to kill someone so we left him alone. I know now that he was probably making jenkem:

http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenkem

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HTTR

the_bird

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__________________
Come join Yankee Ingenuity!

"I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch and it's only 6:30 so I can't stop drinking yet." - Yooper's Bob

EvilTOJ

Recipes 

Where the hell were you earlier this year Laughing_Gnome?? I've had eight (yes EIGHT) piss tests since January of this year. I could have USED those bottles of urine so I could go drunking and shooting up and fornicating with wild abandon! But noooooooo you had to be hoarding them all for yourself! Do you have any idea how many highways I've had to drive up and down picking up plastic bottles off the side of the road, when all this time you could have been shipping me some urine?

And I thought we were friends.

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There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."