 |
|
06-20-2011, 11:58 PM
|
#1
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Norwalk, Ohio
Posts: 10,280
|
Paraphrased conversation with SWMBO
|
|
OK, bear in mind that I am recalling the conversation about my brew day on Sunday from an entirely biased perspective.
Wifey: What the f#ck are you doing!?
Me: I am commencing the process of brewing, my dear. I am about to perform the last rites of John Barleycorn. I am creating art.
Wifey: Like f#ck you are! I had a whole day planned of doing stupid girly sh!t and dragging your ass around with me and boring the crap out of you for the entire day!!
Me: But my love!! Do you not recall the agreement we made just this Friday past? We had cordially committed that I should practice the art of brewing, and that we would both make merry on that joyous occasion. The stage is set, the players are dressed. 'twould be folly indeed to deny the audience their reward!
Wifey: You are sooo full of sh!t! Since when did you feel the need to brew EVERY f#cking week!!?
Me: But dearest, I have had not the chance to brew these last three weeks for fear of it making interruption to your wonderful and righteous garage sale. This has been but my first opportunity in a long while.
Wifey: Hmmmph!!! OK then, but don't forget you are cooking out tonight. F#ck you, I'm going to Walmart. I will be taking an electric cart because I'm too fat to walk. My clothes will all be two sizes too small, and I will probably be farting a lot.
Me: Farewell, my love. I await your return with baited breath. In your absence, I will ponder the ways I can make you more happy.
Wifey: F#ck off.
(Later that day)
Wifey: Are you STILL f#cking brewing!?
Me: yes, my dear. I have pondered your objections about my regular observance to the ritual of the beer gods, and have devised a plan to make us BOTH happier! I have taken it upon myself to make TWO brews in the same day! Thus, we shall have a happier future together whereby I may pay more attention to your loveliness with my time saved!
Wifey: You f#cking wanker!!
Me: But, but, my love! I strive only to make you happy!!
Wifey: F#ck off, asshole!
Me: Have I upset you my dear? You complained that I appease the beer gods too often, and I have sought a way to solve our problem!
Wifey: F#ck off F#ck off F#ck off F#ck off F#ck off!!!
__________________
Why do they never tell you they are a guy until AFTER you put your hand up their skirt?
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 12:00 AM
|
#2
|
|
PKU
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Cold Part of AZ
Posts: 26,251
|
I'd love to hear your version, not her's. 
__________________
This makes your signature take up a whole lot less space. - Yuri_Rage
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 12:01 AM
|
#3
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Edmonton Ky
Posts: 1,293
|
I think we are only getting one side of this story 
__________________
Back Nine Brew&Wine
Life don't get better than a beer and a pepper.
What I am brewing is now a mystery
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 12:10 AM
|
#4
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Norwalk, Ohio
Posts: 10,280
|
I found my person 'twixt a rock and a hard location......And honestly, those were her exact words as far as I heard them in my noggin. 
__________________
Why do they never tell you they are a guy until AFTER you put your hand up their skirt?
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 12:17 AM
|
#5
|
|
Beer Dude in the Sunset
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,715
|
My obsession with brewing and fermenting things was just one more reason for my wife to divorce me. At this point in my life I could not be happier. I got the house, custody of our son and yes, I can brew whenever I want. It took a while, but I am doing okay.
After we got married my wife gained a lot of weight. After we got divorced she gained a whole lot of weight. She gets our son on the weekends so that is usually when I brew. Last weekend she took him to the zoo and I brewed on Saturday and went fishing Sunday. They left early because the elephants were throwing peanuts at her.
__________________
Carport Brewery, Lilburn GA
Any advise offered after 10:00p.m. should be regarded as questionable I can't brew until something is empty
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 12:21 AM
|
#6
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Norwalk, Ohio
Posts: 10,280
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrk305
Last weekend she took him to the zoo and I brewed on Saturday and went fishing Sunday. They left early because the elephants were throwing peanuts at her.
|
Now, I had already made up a joke in my head about your son, and his place in the zoo before I even got to the intended punch line!
Sorry for my evil thoughts. 
__________________
Why do they never tell you they are a guy until AFTER you put your hand up their skirt?
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 12:25 AM
|
#7
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Norwalk, Ohio
Posts: 10,280
|
By the way....My wife is NOT fat!!
She is just big boned....REALLY big boned. I'm talking T. Rex bones here. If the Titanic were a bone, then she would be as big as it, and go down on you twice as fast.
__________________
Why do they never tell you they are a guy until AFTER you put your hand up their skirt?
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 12:54 AM
|
#8
|
|
Beer Dude in the Sunset
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,715
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laughing_Gnome_Invisible
............ and go down on you twice as fast.
|
If there was more of that going on, we might still be married. 
__________________
Carport Brewery, Lilburn GA
Any advise offered after 10:00p.m. should be regarded as questionable I can't brew until something is empty
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 01:02 AM
|
#9
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Houlton, ME
Posts: 370
|
Prosted.
|
|
|
06-21-2011, 01:06 AM
|
#10
|
|
Richmond Cty HB Society
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Isle of Staten
Posts: 7,365
|
All I got from that was you are a typical Brit and she is definitely a typical American. 
__________________
Fermentor(s): Retribution Brown Ale
Lagering: Oktoberfest
Kegged: Test SMaSH
Bottled: Mr. Beer Pale Ale, Brown Sugar Mead
Tapped: Dystopian Saison
Up Next: 100% Wheat Beer, Dopplebock
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Similar Threads
|
| Thread |
Thread Starter |
Forum |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
Swmbo...
|
homebeerbrewer |
Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumbling |
10 |
08-11-2009 01:08 PM |
|
LOL At the SWMBO
|
JoeMama |
Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumbling |
23 |
01-21-2009 11:37 AM |
|
SWMBO just doesn't get it
|
ChshreCat |
Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumbling |
13 |
01-12-2009 09:46 PM |
|
Swmbo...
|
jdd120 |
Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumbling |
30 |
10-24-2007 07:54 PM |
|
What to get SWMBO....
|
Sir Humpsalot |
Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumbling |
37 |
08-16-2007 12:33 AM |
|
|