Kids, younger every year!

Aleforge · 05-14-2009, 03:32 PM

So my wife was checking up on my oldest daughters face book today. Part of the deal is, she is allowed to have one "IF" we are allowed access at anytime to make sure everything is appropriate. Anyhow I guess facebook messenger leaves up your recent chats with friends because it popped up when my wife logged in. Some very interesting chatter showed up between my daughter and her best friend. It went something like this,

Daughter: Hey
Friend: Hey, Willy wants to put his dick in my mouth.
Daughter: LOL
Friend: I think I am going to make out with him this weekend
Daughter: ya
Friend: Its time for church, I will ttyl (I **** you not)
Daughter: K

Friend = 12 years old, Daughter turns 14 in June.

I just cannot believe kids are putting dicks in others kids mouths at age 12, or at the very least talking about it....

I have 2 daughters and a son, I am starting to freak out for the first time as a parent. And yes we had the sex talk already.

Boerderij_Kabouter · 05-14-2009, 03:57 PM

I just had this convo with some people at work. I am still pretty young and ratehr in touch with what kids are doing. If BJ's are as far as it has gotten by 12-13 you aren't doing half bad.

The question is no longer should I give them privacy? The question is how much and what do you really want to know?

Once your kids are teens they are going to do what they want, to an extent. You can still control them a bit, but you mostly have to hope that you raised them well and they are confident enough to make their own choices.

You have to ask yourself if you are ready to hear about some junior football player sticking it in your little girl. If the answer is yes, keep reading and checking. If no, I would never look again.

Trust me as a soon to be father of a little girl, I know your fear already. But I also know what is going on in and out of school, and the reality is harsh.

Talk to your kids and tell them about sex, its effects, and how they have a choice. You will never be able to really know what is going on but you may find some things you don't like.

My theory is to walk loudly, and call ahead.

EDIT: One sex talk isn't enough. It needs to be an ongoing dialog IMO. Also, you should really make sure they know how and where to get protection. Don't condone it, but just make sure they know how to get there. Speaking from experience, finding out you really should have used some protection having a huge scare, then having to research and find a responsible place was terrifying as a youth. A dot on a map and a talk about what the options are would have gone a long way.

Aleforge · 05-14-2009, 04:25 PM

No offense but I understand how it works. I just felt 12 was fairly young. I was in school once also, and times have changed. I just think it sucks and wanted to vent.

I get what you mean by if you don't wanna know don't look. But I still think their should be some supervision at this age. We caught her with a myspace at 11 and noted she was 21 on her profile and had been talking to older guys. This is a situation where its ok as a parent to be nosy. Sometimes you can in fact step in and "do something" to help mitigate the dangers. And we did, a few years later and she has become more open vocally and with her online bs. And I find she doesn't hide nearly as much crap as she could.

In any event the "birds and bees" talk is an open and ongoing situation. I just noted we "had the talk" to show it gets brought up. I also know there is only so much you can do outside of be supportive once your kids get to this age. I was the same way when the kids were little, giving people the "don't be so paranoid" lecture. You will change also once dicks become involved!

And on an immature parent side note I actually found the way it was mentioned fairly funny, as I know its inevitable this **** is gonna happen.

Damonic · 05-14-2009, 08:56 PM

You've got to f*$#%ing be kidding me?! I would go through the roof if I found that. But then again, your daughter didn't really say or do anything inappropriate, it was her friend. If she knows the ground rules and understands you guys might check the account at any time, couldn't you bring up what happened and have another talk with her? She may react in a positive way that would make you proud. I dunno... I'm a new father, my baby girl is only 8 months old, but I already DREAD the pre-teen years. The thought of that junior football player makes me cringe and my blood boil. Obviously kids are going to act on their own and hopefully we've instilled decent morals and decision making ability in them before they get to that stage. But cripes... I'm gonna have a really hard time dealing with this.

I know I'll have to face reality someday but for now, I'm just going to try and enjoy my baby girl.

**jezter6** · 05-14-2009, 09:03 PM

My co-worker's daughter's friend (13-14) was expelled for giving head IN THE HALLWAY at school.

Times have changed since I was in 8th grade...

Boerderij_Kabouter · 05-14-2009, 09:06 PM

I know you know what's going on. I am just saying that it sounds like you have done a good job getting her that far. I definitely think you still have a major influence on her, but it just that, an influence.

When I was in grade school and high school, BJ's were not unheard of by 7th grade and not uncommon by 8-9th grade. 4th base was pretty common by sophomore year.

I grew up in a very affluent area with caring and supportive parents. I know a lot of kids from less supportive areas and trust me, the trends there aren't better.

My youngest brother is about to graduate high school in a couple weeks. He first started going to drinking a drug parties in 6th grade. I could tell instantly. I think he was sexually active by 7th grade. It is just a fact that in today's society where the forbidden fruit is constantly dangled that kids will react to it. The hormones are raging.

Damonic- You just have to remember how you felt when you were a teen to understand how those boys feel and think. It isn't really their fault. You just have to teach the kids to think for themselves.

NOTE: Don't think I won't want to kill them too. I will have a gun cleaning station setup in the front of the house when potential boyfriends start coming to the house

Also, I believe I am going to demand a formal introduction of all boys Sibella intends to go out with. I can't wait to be a dad.

Skins_Brew · 05-14-2009, 09:10 PM

my wife teaches 5th grade. You are talking like 9-10 year olds here. She has found ripped up notes in her classroom about kids giving other kids 'head' and the like.

Damonic · 05-14-2009, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boerderij_Kabouter

Damonic- You just have to remember how you felt when you were a teen to understand how those boys feel and think. It isn't really their fault. You just have to teach the kids to think for themselves.

NOTE: Don't think I won't want to kill them too. I will have a gun cleaning station setup in the front of the house when potential boyfriends start coming to the house

Also, I believe I am going to demand a formal introduction of all boys Sibella intends to go out with. I can't wait to be a dad.

Actually I would say I was not the norm. I was convicted to wait until marriage through my junior year of high school... then I met her. And sex is like Pringles... once you pop...

Still, I think losing my virginity at 17 was older than most guys. I completely see your point, I was still a raging hormone-infused horndog. I just pray that I do a decent job raising this kid.

jgln · 05-14-2009, 09:28 PM

When I was that age I was very influenced by music and the words to them. Back then sex in music is no where near as graphic as it is today. Today you actually her things like "Yo B*&^% come over here and suck on my D*&^" or "bounce that a$$ up and down on my *&%^$ in the music today or VERY close to that. Kids want to live the lives of their idols and what better idols (in their minds) than idols that are extremely rich, have sex and party all day. One song I heard was a part sung by a woman saying something like “come over here and stick that it in my &^% (they interrupt with something so you don’t actually hear what she said). I think that has a LOT to do with it unfortunately it is too late to turn it around IMO.

**DeathBrewer** · 05-14-2009, 09:29 PM

Most of it is just talk. I remember that when I was their age and the girls talked nasty but didn't really do anything. Of course, that doesn't mean I wasn't trying to get head, myself