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StoutFan · 09-09-2009, 02:03 AM

I have been unhappily married now for a year, and with the person for four unhappy years, I love my kids, and thought that you just had to get married, thats what you do. I have decided to move on, and I have found someone who makes me happy. No, I have not physically cheated on my wife, but I guess I have emotionally. The house mortgage has both our names, but she cannot afford it on her own. She is a stay at home mom. I plan on giving her the car and just having the loan signed over to her. Help me my beer friends, for I do not know what to do legally next. I know I have to contact Friend of the Court for all the custody stuff, but what else do I do. In MI here it is a 6 month wait from start to finish. Help

**dataz722** · 09-09-2009, 02:13 AM

Well have you talked to her about it?

XXguy · 09-09-2009, 02:16 AM

If you're counting on someone else to make you happy, your happiness does not belong to you.

StoutFan · 09-09-2009, 02:23 AM

No, I haven't had that discussion yet, trying to get all the ducks in a row by Friday to do it then. And it's not that she makes me happy, she just lets me be myself, and that makes me happy.

lowlife · 09-09-2009, 02:33 AM

Is she capable of getting a loan for the house on her own? You cant just remove a person from a loan afaik.
Ask your lender beforehand to make sure.

StoutFan · 09-09-2009, 02:39 AM

She has no income, I don't think they will give her a loan. That's the help I was looking for. I am going to talk to the broker tomorrow, and hopefully have some info then.

**Bobby_M** · 09-09-2009, 03:42 AM

This is a tough time for a divorce depending on how much equity you have.

In order for her to keep the house, you have to refinance. It would be a whole new mortgage where her income would be limited to alimony and probably not enough for her to make the payments. Of course, they don't do 100% financing anymore either so you'd have to have a good 20%+ equity already.

**Cheeto** · 09-09-2009, 03:47 AM

Honestly what makes you unhappy ?
PM me if you would like.

But I think you should take a step back and re-evaluate you life and situation.

I say this because i am on my second marriage and have felt the same way a few different times.

You two might need to just talk !

There are many things that can and will continue to make one partner unhappy, simple little things that a simple chat will fix or change.

I am here for any PM's if you would like

-Jason

FireNightFly · 09-09-2009, 04:00 AM

I suggest you get a lawyer. Lets see, your leaving a stay home mom with custody of the children. Prepare to pay child support and alimony. I would assume she will get enough to pay for the house and the kids by the time she is done with you. Also seeing how you have hidden a second relationship during the marriage expect to loose.

On second thaught, before you dough out Child Support & Alimony & lawyers fees, why not take a few hundred dollars and go to marriage counselor.

At least tell your wife, dont "get all your ducks in a row" then drop it on her with court papers. Quite heartless if you ask me.

Benjibbad · 09-09-2009, 12:01 PM

I went through this whole thing not too long ago. I don't know how it is in MI but in FL the only way to get out of the mortgage is to refinance. If she has to income expect that both of your names are going to stay on the mortgage and YOU are going to be paying for it. Same with the car. No income no loan. I would suggest a counselor or if you are both amicable to it, try to draft up a property division agreement before you file. It will make things go more smoothly. A lawyer is a must and the sooner you find one the better. If she gets a lawyer as well you may be accountable for both legal fees. What might work instead f a dissolution would be a legal separation to see how things pan out before going full bore into divorce. Just a thought, since she is a house wife runn the number to see how much it will cost to run both households. All the bills and see where that leaves you. If you need more advice or juust want to chat let me know.