Get off my bloody lawn!!!

**Laughing_Gnome_Invisible** · 08-28-2008, 06:25 PM

Reading that thread on "What was Nuber one the day you were born" It suddenly hit me just how OLD I am

Was I the oldest person there? Well, maybe I was! But I have to tell you guys something. All you young whippersnappers (It's a real word, look it up) Out there, with your oh so clever youthful looks and non-creaking bones make me f#cking sick!! You Bastards!!! You go sneaking around posting pics of your "Oh so beautiful" young SWMBOs, carrying on about how young and youthful you are....You make me puke!!

I have a SWMBO too!! Wanna see naked pics of her!? Well, neither do I, but that's not my f#cking point! The point is!....The point is.....um....I'll tell you what the f#cking point is!! I am sick and tired of all you young bastards showing off about your fancy "perfect bladder control" and your oh so frigging wonderful "Regular bowel movements"......... "Oh look at me! I'm young, so I can always make it to the bathroom in time, no matter how drunk I am".....Will listen up snot face! I'm 51 years old, and I can make it to the bathroom in time 95% of the time even if I'm f#cking drunk!...98% of the time if we are just talking number ones!

You bastards all hang around this forum going on about how much you know about brewing beer, well let me tell you. I was probably drinking beer when you were sucking on your mothers milk bottle! (Sterilised, I hope) I've had so much frigging beer in my life, that I don't even remember what I just said!...I've had so much frigging beer in my life, that I don't even remember what I just said!

Give me a break and pass me my slippers you bastards!!

**shecky** · 08-28-2008, 06:29 PM

You are the best. I'm going to kill all entertainment mediums in my house and just read your stuff here. Priceless.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bonk my smokin' hot (semi) young SWMBO, but only after I go No. 2. It's that time of day, you know.

**Orfy** · 08-28-2008, 06:29 PM

When are you going to learn to cook?

**Revvy** · 08-28-2008, 06:30 PM

THere's s much good stuff in here, but I think I'll just take this segment over to the memorial quotes thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laughing_Gnome

I was probably drinking beer when you were sucking on your mothers milk bottle! (Sterilised, I hope) I've had so much frigging beer in my life, that I don't even remember what I just said!...I've had so much frigging beer in my life, that I don't even remember what I just said!

Give me a break and pass me my slippers you bastards!!

There's so much I could say now...but I'm laughing to hard, and it is throwing my back out.