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Old 02-17-2009, 04:10 PM   #1
onelegout
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Default I broke pretty much every rule in the book...

Hello there!
I have never brewed beer before, and I'm skint, but decided to give it a go without reading up or learning pretty much anything.

Since this morning I have read up on it properly, and quickly realised that almost everything I've done was completely wrong; now I know you're all thinking 'why would we care? this guy is just an ignorant prat who didn't do his homework before trying his first batch and now wants to boast about it'. That is not what I'm trying to do - I basically figured that as I've done everything pretty much without any prior knowledge it should be a pretty fun experiment to see what happens when you don't follow the rules - So, without any further waffling, here's a summary of what I've done:

I bought 500gm of Wheat Barley
500gm Brupak's Fuggles hops
1 sachet Munton's brewing yeast.
1kg sugar.
6 1L flip-top bottles (like on grolsh bottles)

My first mistake was not knowing about sanitising. I figured that with fermentation it was probably a good idea to make sure that everything was clean, so I took everything I was about to use and boiled it in the pot that I would use for 'cooking' the beer.

I filled the pot with 7L of water and brought it to around 80 degrees Centigrade.

I then added the Wheat Barley and kept it at a pretty much steady temperature of 80*c for 20 minutes. I then let it cool for half an hour and emptied it into another pot that I had sterilised with boiling water. I then cleaned out the first pot with boiling water, and strained the liquid back into it using a collender with a clean tea towel in it to filter out the barley.
I brought this to the boil and added approx 400 grams of the hops, and boiled the mixture for 20 minutes. I then added 200 grams of sugar, and 100 grams of orange-bloom honey, and the zest and juice of two lemons mixed it all in and boiled for a further 20 minutes. By this time the house STANK of hops. I tasted the liquid and it actually tasted like a really nice darjeeling (can't spell that!) tea - it was pretty sweet but had a very bitter aftertaste. I let it cool down and then filtered it using the same collander/tea towel method as before, until I was left with a misty yellow liquid - it looked exactly like hoegarden.
I let it cool to blood temperature, and meanwhile activated the yeast in a bit of water before adding it. I then looked on the internet, and found that I couldn't just bottle it straight away (that seems very obvious now! ) - As I had no fermentation bucket and nothing with an airlock I left it in the same steel pot until it started to show signs of fermentation (a few small bubbles floating to the top) - then I realised that if I left it there, un-covered it would just rot, so I figured that I'd take the bottle-bomb chance, bottled it and put the bottles in a steel box in the shed just in case.

So, my question to you guys is what do you think will happen? We'll take bets on it and whoever gets it right gets to flame me for being such an 'ignorant n00b'!

- H

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Old 02-17-2009, 04:15 PM   #2
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I bet the bottles explode.

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Old 02-17-2009, 04:15 PM   #3
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after reading that I'm not so worried about my first home brew that I bottled last week.....

I may get a "rubbermade" container for the cases of beer....

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Old 02-17-2009, 04:17 PM   #4
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One other question - Did I just unintentionally make a wheat beer?

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Old 02-17-2009, 04:17 PM   #5
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an englishman I presume..

Best of luck.. I have no idea how that's going to turn out.. lol

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Old 02-17-2009, 04:18 PM   #6
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"They don't call it a quarter-pounder?"

"No man, they got the metric system over there. The wouldn't know what the f*** a quarter pounder was."

Sorry, so much metric in that post I had a hard time reading it.

As for your early bottling... Did you add priming sugar? Either way, I'd be less concerned with bottle bombs and more concerned with the beer tasting like crap. You never know, you might have stumbled onto some one-in-a-million recipe here. I wouldn't hold out much hope for it though.

It'll probably be bad. Really bad. Oh well. Chalk this one up as a learning experience, read up on everything, get yourself some equipment, and try again. Better luck next time.

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I would never use a dead mouse in my beer. It's much better to use live ones. You could probably just steep a dead one, but live ones must be mashed. Actually, smashed and mashed would be best.
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Old 02-17-2009, 04:19 PM   #7
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Wait, you pitched the yeast and then sealed the bottles and put them in the shed???

THEY ARE GOING TO EXPLODE. No ifs, ands, or butts about it. The bottles need airlocks. If it hasn't been too long, then I would go out and open them. Find a piece of hose, sterilize it, and put it over the tops of each bottle. Run it down below the bottles into a bucket of water, preferably sterile.

If it has been too long (a day or so more), then make sure they are sealed in that container you put them in and wait for them to blow up. I would not handle them. You would be surprised how much energy they can build up.

Signed,
Very Concerned.

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Old 02-17-2009, 04:19 PM   #8
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Hahaa take lots of pictures, I want to see the outcome of this one!

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Old 02-17-2009, 04:20 PM   #9
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Oh, forgot to make my guess. I think that the bottles won't explode, but that what is inside those bottles will not really be beer in any sense of the word. No, I don't think you unintentionally made a wheat beer. I think you basically skipped the drinking/processing phase of beer and went straight to the final product - urine.

Sorry

Edited: +1 on taking lots of pictures. I wanna see it too.

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I would never use a dead mouse in my beer. It's much better to use live ones. You could probably just steep a dead one, but live ones must be mashed. Actually, smashed and mashed would be best.
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Old 02-17-2009, 04:21 PM   #10
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Your bottle will likely explode. If they don't explode, they will when you try to open them. You should go an uncap them.

You actually did OK for not reading anything.... welcome to the hobby and HBT.

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