In brewing my very first batch of homebrew, I made several mistakes:
1. didn't swap out the slightly-upgraded macroswill-style ingredient kit that came with my equipment
2. transferred the beer from the carboy to the keg by pouring it in with a funnel rather than using the siphon I already have -- major alcohol-induced brain fart
3. transferred the beer from the carboy to the keg without adding corn sugar, so boiled it and added it after I had already pressurized the keg; repressurized the keg
4. could not find a mini fridge that would fit my keg, so broke down and bought a $300 wine cooler that only goes down to 46ºF, which would be fine for just about every beer I plan to brew except the one I made
5. let it sit in that temperature for a week before I bought a proper kegerator
Lo and behold, after cutting off the end of the spout hose (which was meant to screw in to a half-keg, despite the website claiming that it could fit 2 Corny kegs) and yanking the Corny keg connector from the hose that came with the keg followed by shoving it into the newly-cut hose from the kegerator, I pulled the tap and beer flowed forth! After having several glasses to zero in on the correct CO2 pressure, I have beer! Actual beer coming out of the kegerator, and I made it! It's rather flavorless, but pretty refreshing -- definitely better than BMC and even some "upgraded" versions like Asahi, for instance. Old Greg's Classic Beer Pong Ale is a success!
P.S. I'm returning the wine cooler tomorrow.