-do i need to get a certain type of copper tubing or will any type due? i want to make sure i don't get the wrong thing and end up with something that will make me sick, or even worse, give off flavors
-which is better for sanitizing it before use: boiling with the wort for 15 minutes or using star san on it?
AFAIK copper is copper, so you'll be good with the copper tubing you can find at Home Depot or Lowe's. As far as sanitizing, I always just drop it in the boil for the last 15 minutes and have never had any issues. Good luck with your build.
The only thing more asinine than stupid rules is the enforcement of rules simply because they are the rules.