Hi Tim. Let me try to help you with answers to your questions:
1. Plenty of room = Not a bad thing.
2. NO gasket = a BAD thing. Yes, those are signs that fermentation has begun. Gas is definitely escaping, but not through the airlock. Leave the airlock in place and wrap the lid to the primary with saran wrap to seal from the outside and leave it alone for a couple more days or until you believe it's ready.
3. Temp is important. See the recommended temp for what you are brewing. I'd say you are too warm already even for an ale (@72F). You could always use the wet wick trick if you purchase a large plasitic container/tub to put the fermenter in with some ice and water to lower the temp.
4. No need to worry, just need to get some good advice. Oh, and share the red ale!
There are no stupid questions (rediculous ones, yes), only stupid answers.
With the conical fermenter always drain your trub before transferring. Be sure to do it slowly so you don't waste much beer.