For the reasons you mentioned (as well as some questionable recipes, in my opinion), I'm not a fan of that book.
1. You can steep for 20 minutes or so. Sometimes, some recipes are actually "mashing" even though steeping and mashing look similar in technique, mashing is using base malts that have to convert to sugars. In steeping grains, the sugars have already been made available through the processing of them, so you can get color and flavor by steeping them.
Grain must be milled- crushed- to use. It's not milled like flour, but the husks are broken open so that the grain is crushed/cracked.
2. Cool first, and then pour into fermenter and add the top off water. Chilling with a water bath helps reduce the chance of infection, by getting it below the "danger" temperature quickly, and helps to make a clearer beer by giving you a "cold break"- coagulating proteins that will fall to the bottom.