What "exactly" do you want from this beer in terms of body, flavor, and aroma? You can say what is your perfect IPA to 10 people and get 10 different responses that vary between sweet, dry, lots of caramel notes, bready, balanced, unbalanced, full bodied, light bodied, low malt character, bitter bomb, fruity, citrusy, piney, etc. - Saying, "I'd like bitter, but not too bitter" and "I'd like honey, but not too much honey" is relative to the individual and not very descriptive.
As far as how much and when to add honey, I have made three honey IPAs with 10-15% honey in the fermentables. The last one is in the primary now. Plan to add the honey quickly after primary fermentation this time. Both times prior, I added the honey about 10 mins before pitching the yeast when the wort was about 80 F.