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foonder · 09-12-2008, 03:36 PM

I had a fun time bottling a batch of beer today, I finally got to packaging my Rhizome IPA, the only beer I was able to make with my freshly grown / picked hops.

First, I forgot to tighten the spigot on my bottling bucket, so beer started to ooze all over the floor until I realized it.

Then, my bottle filler's tip came off and beer started gushing through the tubing all over my basement rug & bottles, so I had to remove the tubing and constantly open & close the nozzle on my bucket to fill the bottles.

When I was capping, I had one longneck bottle that just didn't want too cooperate. I heard glass grinding and I though "Ah Sh*t", and when I poppped the partially crimped cap off of the bottle, it completely broke off at the top. So I set it aside and continued. A few minutes later, I noticed my bottle caps had blood on them, and so did my bottle capper, and one of my hands, and some smears on the bottles. Sure enough, the hand I used to pop the messed up cap off was slowly dripping blood all over. When I was all said & done, I went over to the bastard bottle that broke and was pouring the wasted beer out when I noticed a little white fleck of something on the bottle neck. Upon closer inspection, I found that it was the missing chunk of my finger. What a fun start to the day.

I'm guessing this is why people keg their beer.

McKBrew · 09-12-2008, 03:38 PM

Ouch! Time to invest in kegging equipment.

Rottnme · 09-12-2008, 03:40 PM

I can be a bit morbid but I'd name the beer "I.P.A.I.D.S." just in case there's a little blood in the bottles.

Cpt_Kirks · 09-12-2008, 03:46 PM

Ouch.

Reminds my of my "priming incident" years ago.

NEVER drink while bottling.

I was, and somehow got the amounts of priming sugar off. Like, it seems I needed 1/3 cup and put in three cups, which I didn't figure out until checking my notes later. Luckily, they were in my Lager fridge when they started exploding. THAT was a sticky mess to clean up, and I did some bleeding before it was done.

**IrregularPulse** · 09-12-2008, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rottnme

I can be a bit morbid but I'd name the beer "I.P.A.I.D.S." just in case there's a little blood in the bottles.

+1! haha

So you just drained from teh spigot letting the splash against the bottom of your bottles while filling? Or still has hosing going down to the bottom of the bottle?

**BlindLemonLars** · 09-12-2008, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foonder

I'm guessing this is why people keg their beer.

You said it! I bottled a batch last Saturday, something I seldom do...what a PITA!

I'm type O-negative, let me know if you need a transfusion.

foonder · 09-12-2008, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rottnme

I can be a bit morbid but I'd name the beer "I.P.A.I.D.S." just in case there's a little blood in the bottles.

FTW

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrregularPulse

+1! haha

So you just drained from teh spigot letting the splash against the bottom of your bottles while filling? Or still has hosing going down to the bottom of the bottle?

I kept the splashing to a minimum by only opening the spigot about halfway and pouring sideways down the side of the bottle. Imperfect, but it got the job done.
EDIT: sorry, didn't fully answer question, I did NOT use the tubing after the bottle filler fell apart, only the spigot.

On a side note, when I win powerball I'm totally going to get a kegging system. Or five.

fratermus · 09-13-2008, 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foonder

A few minutes later, I noticed my bottle caps had blood on them, and so did my bottle capper, and one of my hands, and some smears on the bottles. Sure enough, the hand I used to pop the messed up cap off was slowly dripping blood all over.

When I was in college we were working over a keg of cheap, nasty beer (Mil. Beast?)

Someone stole the knob off the top of the pump and people were complaining they couldn't pump it because the (now-knobless) steel rod hurt their hand. I got impatient and shouted, drunkenly: "THIS is how you do it!" I pumped with one hand until I blearily noted some soreness then used the other hand.

At some point thereafter it was pointed out to me that both my palms had circular tears in them from the threaded pump shaft, and that I was bleeding impressively. I announced: "behold! beer stigmata!", and then "I am the barley christ!" before the night faded into blackout oblivion. Luckily, no deity was offended enough to smite me down that night.

Kilgore_Trout · 09-13-2008, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fratermus

When I was in college we were working over a keg of cheap, nasty beer (Mil. Beast?)

Someone stole the knob off the top of the pump and people were complaining they couldn't pump it because the (now-knobless) steel rod hurt their hand. I got impatient and shouted, drunkenly: "THIS is how you do it!" I pumped with one hand until I blearily noted some soreness then used the other hand.

At some point thereafter it was pointed out to me that both my palms had circular tears in them from the threaded pump shaft, and that I was bleeding impressively. I announced: "behold! beer stigmata!", and then "I am the barley christ!" before the night faded into blackout oblivion. Luckily, no deity was offended enough to smite me down that night.

You're my hero.

foonder · 09-13-2008, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fratermus

When I was in college we were working over a keg of cheap, nasty beer (Mil. Beast?)

Someone stole the knob off the top of the pump and people were complaining they couldn't pump it because the (now-knobless) steel rod hurt their hand. I got impatient and shouted, drunkenly: "THIS is how you do it!" I pumped with one hand until I blearily noted some soreness then used the other hand.

At some point thereafter it was pointed out to me that both my palms had circular tears in them from the threaded pump shaft, and that I was bleeding impressively. I announced: "behold! beer stigmata!", and then "I am the barley christ!" before the night faded into blackout oblivion. Luckily, no deity was offended enough to smite me down that night.

Awesome