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-   -   An evil experiment (http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f32/evil-experiment-304066/)

CthulhuDreaming 02-14-2012 01:11 AM

An evil experiment
So here I am, racking off a finished mild ale into a keg when I look over at the kitchen counter and see two lonely gallons of apple juice on the counter.

I think to myself "You know what would taste good right now? HARD CIDER!". Alas, I have none in the house, and my batch of Apfelwein is two weeks from bottling.

With one of my fermenting buckets soon to be freed up, I think to myself that making a small batch of quick-and-dirty sweet hard cider would fill a hole in my larder.

Alas! I have no yeast! Woe is me!

But wait - I have the trub in my aforementioned and soon to be empty fermenter! And - as luck would have it, the trub is free of hop and grain detritus.

So... and evil plan is made...

- Rack off every bit of the yummy ale
- Unceremoniously dump a couple of gallons of apple juice on the yeast cake
- Wait a couple of days until there's just enough residual sugar to sweeten it to my liking, and enough alcohol to make it worth drinking (say, about 3.5% ABV)
- Cold crash to stop the fermentation and to rapidly achieve optimal swilling temperature
- Bottle back in the original containers, and drink it up quickly.

I can hear the naysayers already. I'll get off flavors from the dregs of my yummy ale... more off flavors from the ale yeast... and for the love of all that's sacred, I'm probably massively overpitching. Clearly, the person who cooked up this evil plan is insane, and must be stopped.

I hear the naysayers and you know what? They're probably right. This experiment in hobo chemistry can't possibly have a happy ending. Hundreds may die at tasting time. Even worse, GALLONS of fermentables may be ruined without a single person getting drunk!

Well, friends, that's why such experiments are done. It's all in the name of MAD HOBO SCIENCE, I tell you.

I have exceeding low expectations of this experiment. It will probably taste nasty, and smell worse. I'll probably drink it and wish I had something good (like MD 20/20 or Bud Light) to get the taste out of my mouth. It's entirely possible this will be the worst excuse for an alcoholic beverage in recorded history. But you know what? People have probably sought the heavenly embrace of intoxication with far, far worse swill that we can possibly imagine.

Best regards,

Dr. Evil, mad hobo scientist.

CthulhuDreaming 02-14-2012 03:02 AM

First bubble through the airlock 30 minutes after pitching. This one took off fast, as expected. :cool:

:insert diabolical laughter here:

Grizzlybrew 02-14-2012 03:12 AM

LMAO! Great, great post! This post makes up for a lot of the fluff you sort through on here. Thanks for making my night.

It's less of a forum post and more of an expertly crafted mini-novella/soapbox speech/one-man show...


MaverickBrew 02-14-2012 03:20 AM

I like it and I did something like it. I had an Irish stout that I racked off. I took one can of apple juice and one bottle of apple juice that was pretty old.
I added them to about 2 cups of sugar and ended up with a gravity of about 1.085 a little higher than I was looking for, all in the name of using what I had.
It now has been about 2 weeks and it is still fermenting, slow but still going. I checked the gravity and it is now at 1.025 or 7.88% ABV.
When I tasted it, the cider seemed a bit sweet to me still. At this point I'm just going to let it go.

I'm glad to see that I am not the only one that likes to play/experiment....

CthulhuDreaming 02-14-2012 03:32 AM

People who might be tempted / bribed / blackmailed / forced at knifepoint into tasting my creations should consider themselves fortunate that I didn't remember that I have a tub of honey on deck for a batch of mead. Not that I'd ever consider risking a gallon of fine raw honey on a ill-conceived experiment... :rolleyes:

CthulhuDreaming 02-14-2012 03:37 AM


Originally Posted by MaverickBrew (Post 3783160)
When I tasted it, the cider seemed a bit sweet to me still.

Did you find there were any flavors carried over from your ale?

As I said, I'm going to cold crash mine and not let it dry out or get high in ABV. Kind of a session cider, I suppose. I want it sweet, I just don't want it nasty. :D

NineMilBill 02-14-2012 03:44 AM

That's how we do it in the Evergreen State! :rockin:

dinnerstick 02-14-2012 06:47 AM


Originally Posted by CthulhuDreaming (Post 3782580)
Even worse, GALLONS of fermentables may be ruined without a single person getting drunk!

this seems unlikely

kamkamdac 02-14-2012 07:21 AM

every time i read this i think of the lab from Frankenstein with a batch of cider being raised to be struck by lightning

Rbeckett 02-14-2012 10:10 AM

Thats a man after my own heart. Nothing better than ad-libbing as you go. I have made several meals similarly over the years. We call them fridge stew. Clean out the fridge and cook whatever you end up with. Some have been truly outstanding, others were not so much. I say the Hobo Evil Genius is on the right path. Let us know how that cider works out, I'm betting it turns out just right for a session cider with freinds.

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