Spike Brewing 12.5 Conical Fermenter Giveaway - Enter Now!

Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Community > Brewing Events & Local Gatherings > North East USA > Massachusetts HomeBrew Forum > The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-08-2012, 09:57 PM   #2971
paulthenurse
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
paulthenurse's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Down by the rivah, Down by the banks of the Rivah Chahles.
Posts: 7,345
Liked 220 Times on 190 Posts
Likes Given: 34

Default

Well, a long summer's worth of training is about to pay off. I have been busting my butt since March, sweating, pushing, going that extra little bit. This Sunday is the payoff. This will be the first competitive event I've entered in twenty years.

The Fat Guy Triathlon.

"Drink a six pack of beer. Eat a dozen donuts. Golf 18 holes. Nap for the rest of the afternoon."

Sure, it's Sharon, not Kona, but if I keep up the training at the pace I've been at it this year I'll easily qualify for the Big Island next year, the year after at the latest. Those Samoans will be spitting out their poi at the sound of my name.

It's a toss up for which is my best event. The six pack is my passion but I'm a natural on the donuts. I expect to be amongst the leaders in my age group in both categories. The golf, however, is pure work for me. I don't have a smooth swing, my drives run out of gas within yards and my short game comes up short.

I just finished a 'brick.'. A brick is a training term for when you practice linking two events together. I did a nice, easy half dozen Boston Creme then eased into my Transition Zone. I changed out of my sandals, put on my cleats and played a nice par three "Executive Course." I had hopes of breaking par for the first time in my life when I drove six inches from the cup on the fifth hole but I got a case of the yips and bogeyed the hole. I sincerely hope to do better on Sunday.

Sitting on the deck now, icing my knees, enjoying a 'non-training' beer. My coach recommends chocolate milk after a training session. I'm compromising with a chocolate porter. He'll probably tell me I'm over training on my strong suit but F him. I'm the one sitting on my deck wearing spandex bibbed shorts, no shirt and sweating buckets, enduring the horn blasts and the middle finger salutes from my neighbors. I DESERVE this beer!

Anyways, wish me luck on Sunday.

PTN

__________________

Want to win the coolest trophy in Homebrewing? Come to Masstoberfest. September 27, 2014

Follow my Wood Fired Oven Build Thread here

paulthenurse is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-08-2012, 10:06 PM   #2972
DakotaRules
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
DakotaRules's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Melrose, MA
Posts: 1,626
Liked 37 Times on 28 Posts
Likes Given: 24

Default

Good luck Paulie! You've been working hard and I wish you the best.

I'm about the close on my house and when I do well have a party!

__________________
DakotaRules is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-08-2012, 10:35 PM   #2973
Cape Brewing
DOH!!! Stupid brewing...
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Cape Brewing's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Norton, MA
Posts: 10,077
Liked 387 Times on 315 Posts
Likes Given: 49

Default

I got dibs on the bike!!!

__________________
Why the eff not... everyone else is starting a nano!!! I wanna!!! www.bogironbrewing.com

Quote:
Originally Posted by paulthenurse View Post
I'm pretty much a douche in real life, too.
Cape Brewing is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-08-2012, 10:56 PM   #2974
paulthenurse
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
paulthenurse's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Down by the rivah, Down by the banks of the Rivah Chahles.
Posts: 7,345
Liked 220 Times on 190 Posts
Likes Given: 34

Default

It is a nice bike... But fark you, I ain't gonna keel over dead. Only in your dreams.

Hey Mikey, you gonna have donuts at that pah-tay?

__________________

Want to win the coolest trophy in Homebrewing? Come to Masstoberfest. September 27, 2014

Follow my Wood Fired Oven Build Thread here

paulthenurse is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-08-2012, 11:16 PM   #2975
DakotaRules
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
DakotaRules's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Melrose, MA
Posts: 1,626
Liked 37 Times on 28 Posts
Likes Given: 24

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by paulthenurse
It is a nice bike... But fark you, I ain't gonna keel over dead. Only in your dreams.

Hey Mikey, you gonna have donuts at that pah-tay?
For you, I'll get Kane's! Best donuts in town.
__________________
DakotaRules is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-09-2012, 03:37 AM   #2976
paulthenurse
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
paulthenurse's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Down by the rivah, Down by the banks of the Rivah Chahles.
Posts: 7,345
Liked 220 Times on 190 Posts
Likes Given: 34

Default

F the donuts. The beer is all that counts. Are you willing to spring for the Duchesss? I mean, seriously? , How many houses are you going to buy? Step up, Lad. The Duchess!


(FWIW, I saw a pic of the REAL Duchess at the equestrian events at the Olympics. The future Queen has a totally hot arse. As an Irishman I feel the need to acknowledge a hot arse for what it is. That princess has a totally hot arse.... God Save The Queen's arse.)

__________________

Want to win the coolest trophy in Homebrewing? Come to Masstoberfest. September 27, 2014

Follow my Wood Fired Oven Build Thread here

paulthenurse is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-09-2012, 12:36 PM   #2977
DakotaRules
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
DakotaRules's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Melrose, MA
Posts: 1,626
Liked 37 Times on 28 Posts
Likes Given: 24

Default

After Paulie leaves, the floors get refinished, my wife and I go on a cruise while all this happens. And because Paul was there well have to call in a plumber and pest control. Masstoberfest west,
Huh, not a bad idea.

Oh ya that's a horrible idea. Well see.

__________________
DakotaRules is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-09-2012, 02:05 PM   #2978
the_bird
10th-Level Beer Nerd
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
the_bird's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Posts: 20,493
Liked 367 Times on 303 Posts
Likes Given: 97

Default

Finally. A use for 12-packs of cheap lager.

__________________
Come join Yankee Ingenuity!

"I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch and it's only 6:30 so I can't stop drinking yet." - Yooper's Bob
"Brown eye finally recovered after the abuse it endured in Ptown last weekend, but it took almost a full week." - Paulie
"no, he just doesn't speak 'stupid'. i, however, am fluent...." - motobrewer
"... I'll go both ways." - Melana

That'll do, Pigley. That'll do.
the_bird is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-09-2012, 02:56 PM   #2979
Cape Brewing
DOH!!! Stupid brewing...
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Cape Brewing's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Norton, MA
Posts: 10,077
Liked 387 Times on 315 Posts
Likes Given: 49

Default

Whatta jerk... Take the cans out one at a time!! He was gonna run out of ammo after two more twelve packs.

__________________
Why the eff not... everyone else is starting a nano!!! I wanna!!! www.bogironbrewing.com

Quote:
Originally Posted by paulthenurse View Post
I'm pretty much a douche in real life, too.
Cape Brewing is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-10-2012, 11:16 PM   #2980
barneygumble
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Pittsfield, MA
Posts: 547
Liked 18 Times on 16 Posts
Likes Given: 7

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by the_bird View Post
Finally. A use for 12-packs of cheap lager.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdT-f8uanWg
That is a waste and tradgedy. Do you know how many bushels of clams that stuff couldda steamed?
__________________
barneygumble is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Reply


Quick Reply
Message:
Options
Thread Tools


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Official 2009 NHC meetup thread olllllo California HomeBrew Forum 0 05-11-2009 06:07 PM
The Official 2007 GABF Thread dblvsn Colorado HomeBrew Forum 95 10-23-2007 04:14 PM
Official Dixie Cup 2007 Thread EdWort Texas HomeBrew Forum 9 10-22-2007 08:29 PM