Spike Brewing 12.5 Conical Fermenter Giveaway - Enter Now!

Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Community > General Chit Chat > Ugh friends w/kids (sorry long rant)

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-17-2008, 08:52 PM   #1
Alamo_Beer
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Alamo_Beer's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Manor, Tx
Posts: 2,481
Liked 8 Times on 5 Posts

Default Ugh friends w/kids (sorry long rant)

I like kids, don't get me wrong. I've been an uncle since I was 8 or so and I love my niece and nephew.

Thing is, SWMBO and I are 21. We don't have kids, we've got 3 dogs that we treat like kids...but no real kids.

We're friends with a couple that have 2 little girls (like infant and 2 yrs old). They're nice folks and I like hanging out with them. But please, LEAVE YOUR KIDS W/A BABY SITTER! and don't complain to me that you might not be able to afford the $30 for a sitter!

We've been to dinner with them twice, both times were nice and we had a good time. But it's a little annoying when all of a sudden you have to rush to the bathroom to change your kids diaper...

What I'm really pissed about is we went to dinner with them last weekend for his birthday. Afterwards we went to their house and we hung out for a bit. We started talking and decided to have a Greek party sometime...make some Gyros drink some wine...just have a good time. They were all about it and even said "hey if you do that we'll get a sitter and even pick up the wine or something". So I said lets do it this weekend, it's a long weekend and the beginning of the semester it'll be fun.

Now they want to bring thier kids and they're griping about how they've found a sitter but it's going to cost $30 and why can't we just lock up our dogs and all this crap...Sorry but I'm not going to bend about your choice to have kids at a young age.

Am I a dick?? I'm just this guy right now --> and I'll be this guy later ---->

__________________
Alamo_Beer is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 09:12 PM   #2
TxBrew
Der Administrator
HBT_ADMIN.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
TxBrew's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: San Marcos, Texas
Posts: 8,562
Liked 1660 Times on 550 Posts
Likes Given: 837

Default

Some parents especially young parents might not feel real comfromtable leaving their children with a babysitter when they are that young. Might make excuses about money to avoid telling you it's really because they don't want to in general.

TxBrew is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 09:15 PM   #3
Alamo_Beer
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Alamo_Beer's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Manor, Tx
Posts: 2,481
Liked 8 Times on 5 Posts

Default

I understand that, that makes perfect since. SWMBO crys everytime we have to leave our dogs at the kennel. But they said they'd do it....

__________________
Alamo_Beer is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 09:52 PM   #4
the_bird
10th-Level Beer Nerd
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
the_bird's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Posts: 20,493
Liked 361 Times on 297 Posts
Likes Given: 97

Default

It's not easy to find a sitter that you're comfortable leaving your children with, especially before they're too old to tell you anything. That's just how it is. Having kids completely changes what's important to you, VERY MUCH for the better (IMO). It's not something you can really understand until you've had your own child; it's cliche, but there's nothing more humbling in the world that being wholly responsible for someone who is completely helpless. If we can't make every adult party because of her, so be it.

__________________
Come join Yankee Ingenuity!

"I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch and it's only 6:30 so I can't stop drinking yet." - Yooper's Bob
"Brown eye finally recovered after the abuse it endured in Ptown last weekend, but it took almost a full week." - Paulie
"no, he just doesn't speak 'stupid'. i, however, am fluent...." - motobrewer
"... I'll go both ways." - Melana

That'll do, Pigley. That'll do.
the_bird is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 09:58 PM   #5
Bedlam
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Bedlam's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: East Tennessee
Posts: 1,085
Liked 53 Times on 36 Posts
Likes Given: 49

Default

No, I agree entirely. There are some parents who somehow get the notion that everyone enjoys their li'l angels as much as they do. I have lived through this with one particular friend who, swear to God I thought she had joined some kind of cult or something. I mean, it was all about the kids. The most extreme example was when I was telling her about my fears of moving in with the man I love and new job and whatnot, then she interrupted me in a real distracted way to tell me about her youngest blowing a snot bubble, laughing and doing it again and again. She thought it was the cutest thing.

Yeah, okay, it probably is pretty darn cute, but weren't you LISTENING???

Now that they're getting older, she's kind of snapping out of it.

Still, it can get kind of dicey, as you easily sound like the bad guy. But it isn't like you're clubbing a baby seal or anything. It is your party and your choice. Would you take your three dogs to their place for a soiree and expect them to lock up the kids? No way.

You can be tactful and say...."welllllll, we were hoping to make it a more adult kind of night," or, "the dogs don't do so well locked up and we don't think it's fair to them"....or a surprised "oh! well, we were under the impression that you guys were looking for some kid-free social time. How 'bout we make this one adult-only and you guys host the next get-together?"

So. Long answer just to say that no, you aren't a dick. Parents who drink the "God, everyone should bask in the glory of my children" Kool-Aid need a reality check. They are kids. Kids are great. They just aren't great everywhere.

__________________

-------------------------------------
Jill Mc

Bedlam is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 10:16 PM   #6
Melana
Up to no good....
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 1 reviews
 
Melana's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Attleboro, MA
Posts: 6,470
Liked 1276 Times on 785 Posts
Likes Given: 806

Default

I can understand both sides of the issue and it's not easy either way. Maybe the best solution is to find different friends that have the same interests and tastes, without the children.

__________________
Melana is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 10:20 PM   #7
skinfiddler
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
skinfiddler's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 284
Default

Tell your friends with kids what you have written here- maybe they'll quit hanging with you.

__________________
skinfiddler is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 10:28 PM   #8
SuperiorBrew
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ashland, WI
Posts: 1,693
Liked 25 Times on 16 Posts
Likes Given: 2

Default

If you dont make it clear it will just be harder the next time it comes up, and it will probably come up more often if you dont get the point across.

__________________
Rich
SuperiorBrew is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 10:51 PM   #9
WOP31
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
WOP31's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,332
Liked 8 Times on 4 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alamo_Beer
I like kids, don't get me wrong. I've been an uncle since I was 8 or so and I love my niece and nephew.

Thing is, SWMBO and I are 21. We don't have kids, we've got 3 dogs that we treat like kids...but no real kids.

We're friends with a couple that have 2 little girls (like infant and 2 yrs old). They're nice folks and I like hanging out with them. But please, LEAVE YOUR KIDS W/A BABY SITTER! and don't complain to me that you might not be able to afford the $30 for a sitter!

We've been to dinner with them twice, both times were nice and we had a good time. But it's a little annoying when all of a sudden you have to rush to the bathroom to change your kids diaper...

What I'm really pissed about is we went to dinner with them last weekend for his birthday. Afterwards we went to their house and we hung out for a bit. We started talking and decided to have a Greek party sometime...make some Gyros drink some wine...just have a good time. They were all about it and even said "hey if you do that we'll get a sitter and even pick up the wine or something". So I said lets do it this weekend, it's a long weekend and the beginning of the semester it'll be fun.

Now they want to bring thier kids and they're griping about how they've found a sitter but it's going to cost $30 and why can't we just lock up our dogs and all this crap...Sorry but I'm not going to bend about your choice to have kids at a young age.

Am I a dick?? I'm just this guy right now --> and I'll be this guy later ---->

Couple of things here, if you don't like going out to dinner with your friends, who have kids, either get over it or don't go out with them. Not like you are the one having to control the kids or get up in the middle of dinner to change a Sh!t filled diaper. Think about how they feel, you think that any father enjoys having to go into the mens room and use that stupid little changing table. Then come back to dinner after seeing what comes out of an infants a$$.

On another note Wait until you have kids and see how you feel about leaving them with a baby sitter. and see how you budget changes after you have kids, that $30 may not be much to you right now but when you have 2 other mouths to feed, diapers, formula, doctor bills, child care (most likely) to pay for it may be a bit more of a big deal.

I do agree with you on the fact that when they come over to your house they need to put up or shut up. You shouldn't have to lock up you kids when they come over.

Oh yeah, My disclaimer, I like inconsiderate people, don't get me wrong, I have been dealing with them my whole life.
__________________
"Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late. The cannons don't thunder there's nothin' to plunder,
I'm an [under] forty victim of fate, Arriving too late, arriving too late."
-Jimmy Buffet
WOP31 is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-17-2008, 10:59 PM   #10
DeathBrewer
Maniacally Malty
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
DeathBrewer's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 21,825
Liked 204 Times on 113 Posts

Default

it is tough for parents to find a sitter, especially those that like to spend time with their kids and like to have a large influence on their kids. i brew with a friend and it's always when he has to stay home because his girl is working.

he has to tend to the kid during his brew session and it means we don't hang out the whole time and of course he can't get drunk until the kids in bed and his girl is home. on the other hand, if i didn't start hanging out with him like this, i would hardly see him at all.

having a kid is a full time job. your friends care about their kid more than the care about you, and i agree that they should. i don't think you should complain if you go over to their house or they come out to dinner and have to tend to their child.

now, as for coming over to your house...they need to get a sitter or not come over. no reason you should have to lock your dogs up in your own house. and if they're whining about $30, then they should just not have a life. having a kid is expensive, but you need some time on your own too, with friends...and IMO that would be $30 well spent.

__________________
Easy Partial Mash Brewing - Stovetop All-Grain Brewing

"Death is always with us." - Brewpastor

Quote:
DIAICYLF
We will remember...
DeathBrewer is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Reply


Quick Reply
Message:
Options
Thread Tools


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Friends don't let friends brew drunk! BrettMan General Beer Discussion 45 11-23-2009 01:52 PM
How long in the fridge before serving to friends? abeeraday General Beer Discussion 2 05-15-2009 11:00 PM
I HATE SMACK PACKS!!!!!!! rant rant rant Bernie Brewer Recipes/Ingredients 20 09-04-2007 01:28 PM