I kid you not.
We decide to take the kids out trick-or-treating, it's cold so I decided to wear my sniper suit to keep warm and to appear like I'm wearing a costume.... and come on, how often do you see a guy wearing a sniper suit?
So we are walking around and kids and their parents are commenting on my sniper suit telling me how fu*king cool I am and I'm all like, "Yeah, this was a great idea."
So we get to a house that has about 6 steps leading up to the front door, Brooke suggests that I take Layla up since I've just been waling around in the sniper suit that is just oh-so-cool. So we walk up the steps and there is 2 doors, one door is open and a guy and his little son are handing out candy.
The guy comments on my incredibly kick-ass sniper suit and then tells me that his son is slightly scared of me... yeah, give us your candy.... I'm so cool.
So we got our loot and the guy says, "Hey man, next door they have great candy." My wife, over-hearing this shouts, "Hun, let Layla (our 2yo daughter) ring the doorbell..."
So I step back and let her ring the doorbell.
The person answers their door to find a BALL OF FIRE.
Let me tell you something about their porch. They had open candles on top of their pumpkins, yeah a little bass ackwards if you ask me... so in my chivalrous attempt to let my daughter have some enjoyment in ringing a doorbell, I backed into said candles, setting my sniper suit on fire. Being that the suit is comprised of nothing but thread and mesh it immediately went up in flames... A blast of heat immediately melted my eyebrows, eye lashes and a part of my hair.
Quickly thinking I throw/pull the suit over my head and throw it on the landing... the suit, now starting to grow in flames was then smoking pretty bad, the people's smoke alarms were going off at this point... I knew I needed to get the suit off the landing and away from the houses so I kick it through the air, 15ft if I had to guesstimate, landing in the middle of the driveway, there it ignited into a nice 8 to 12 ft high flames where I danced on it and luckily was provided 2 gallons of water to put it out... in my dancing
i managed to melt my socks to my ankles, fun. (And no, I wasn't dancing, I was trying to step on it to put it out, but when the flames got to big I backed off).
I did not burn myself, but I managed to burn off all the hair on my arms, legs, and i swear to God the back of my head. I skinned my knee and not only did I bleed, but I wreak of burnt hair... know what that smells like? GROSS, that's what it smells like. Kids were crying asking what was on fire and what stinks, some mother commented that it was my "cape" that caught on fire...
yeah, I'm wearing a cape like a jackass... just call me Captain Adventure.
So, hope you all had a great Halloween and STAY SAFE!
So... I set myself on Fire.
Linear Mode
