Sick and Tired of being sick and tired.

My son's 2nd birthday is coming up in August so, that may explain a lot of why I am always tired. I have felt the effects of exhaustion for some time now but, even friends and co-workers are beginning to comment on how sleepy I look all the time.

I dunno what to do anymore and actual sleep is a very limited option. As for child care all I have is me and my wife outside of daycare while at work. I don't have any family nearby to help nor do we have any friends to use for the occasional babysitting get away.

I don't drink excessively, maybe 1 or ywo (stretching that) pints a day if I am lucky. I take multi-vitamins daily and I eat at least 2 respectable squares a day, that is minimal junk food. I drink the yeast too.

On average I get 4 to 6 hours of undisturbed sleep a night. And I do live as active a lifestyle as I can. Sure I don't run marathons but, I do work the yard, swim twice a week, and take a 1 or 2 mile bicycle ride most every night (with the boy in a child seat).

I just dunno what else to do to feel less sleepy and look more rested.

I have had a recent physical to rule out any blood pressure or cardiac issues. The result was a high bad cholesterol count which is what promted the increase in activty and changed diet but, that was almost a year ago.

Smoking may have something to do with all this but I have been doing that for a long time and this sleepiness is relatively new, that is relative to being a father. Prior to my son I could burn the night away, sleep for 4 hours and feel fresh a a daisy.

Nowadays, I either look stoned (minus the red eyes) or about to pass out.

Any suggestions, aside from getting more sleep?

Nothing fixes lack of sleep but sleep. 4 - 6 hours is not enough for an extended period of time. You should take a few days off and try to get as much as you can - get yourself rested, man. Lack of sleep is linked to many other ailments that you will start to suffer from (depression, weight-gain or loss...) and sometimes you have you take a step back and say "not today - today I rest."

Hope you start getting more zzzz's.
Cheers.

Did they test you for Anemia? Personally, I'd quit smoking. You may be feeling the cumulative effects of it. At any rate, it could just be the emotional stress fatherhood gives you, coupled with other external pressures. Most often people who function normally on 4 to 6 hrs continue to do so for most of their lives. You know, that reminds me. I recently quit drinking coffee ritualistically (I still have a cup every now and then) and went to tea which is nearly 1/4th the caffeine, and you know come to think of it...I feel *much* less tired in general and I think in my case this is the reason. So, it may be something simple like that.

I know when I was working a hard job (a feed store where I'd usually haul around 1500lbs a day), naps were my way to keep me together. I'd take a 15 minute nap on breaks, and split my 1/2hr lunch between eating(which was alot) and napping. Then when I got home I'd take a quick 15minute nap and then do my afterwork stuff.
Try smaller meals more often, it's amazing how a full stomach can drain your energy.

IMO I think certain People are wired diffrent and require more sleep than others. I remember on one occasion we were movie equipment from here to Texarkana and I would drive straight down and back to about little Rock and pull over for a nap. I would sleep two hours and drive back to michigan, I did this 3 or 4 straight times and had no problems but the guys running with me were a trip behind because they had to sleep for 8 hours. I think some people just function better with more sleep.

As the father of two little boys, I know how you feel. They zap all the energy from ya. Between working, maintaining a household, hobbies, your children and time for you and the SWMBO, there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day for adequate sleep.

My suggestion would be to spend the time with your wife and child and try to work in chores and odd jobs around the house, but try to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night.

Also, make sure that your mattress isn't the problem and that you are actually sleeping and waking periodically (either from being a parent or from apnea). You may want to be tested for sleep apnea (talk to your GP or ENT)

Also, if your child is co-sleeping or gets up frequently put an end to that ASAP. That was my (still is with my 4 year old) problem.

Oh yeah, and stop smoking quick. That, if not a large cause of the problem, certainly aggrevates the problems.

I feel your pain. I have a five year old and a two year old. Neither of them were great sleepers, and I spent many nights up with one or the other. While they were in daycare they were always sick, and I was always sick. My wife and I don't live near family, so there is no option to unload them on a Grandparent for a weekend.

My advice is this:

1. Try to get 7 hours of sleep at least 2 days a week, preferably 3 or more. Cut out another activity if you have to. Let the laundry pile up, the bills go unpaid, that batch of beer unbrewed. Whatever it is, give it up for sleep.

2. Keep a good attitude, because it will get better. My oldest kid turned a corner when he hit 3 or maybe 3.5. He just seemed to get...easier. I'm hoping the younger does the same.

3. Have as much sex as possible (this is good for wifey, too!). I'm not joking around. A healthy sex life keeps your spirits up and your marriage strong.

4. Exercise regularly. Even a 15 minute walk during the work day is good.

5. Stop smoking.

Good luck, man! Enjoy what you can and try not to let the rest get you down.

It's funny you mention Mister Ludwig Van because,

If I wasn't so tired. I'd have more energy to focus on being less broke and horney.

If I wasn't so broke. I could pay people to do the things that make me tired giving me more time with the wifey thus I wouldn't be so horney.

and

If I wasn't so horney. I wouldn't be so fixated on looking at virtually everything at work that has t!ts thus allowing me focus more on my job which would probly earn me more money.

I never considered being married with child to be such a struggle in balancing the effects of being tired, broke, and horney.

Sorry, I know this is a bit out of context but the whole concept just occured to me at lunch after eating a salad trio which cost me a Ten dollar bill that went to a large breasted woman in a low cut top. While on the 10 minute walk back to the office I suddenly I realized that everything I do lately leaves me either tired, broke, or horney. This time I was all three at once. And every effort I make to eliminate one, just aggrevates another.

Geesh!

I looked over all of these posts and everyone seems to have left to most important thing out. DRINK LOTS OF WATER!

I'm serious. SWMBO downs a resivoir each day and she is fine. On days that I don't drink enough I can feel myself get lazy and tired and my brain turns to mush. If you don't do anything else do this.

Also stop smoking, why pay to kill yourself? And if your not going to stop then let me know what you smoke so I can buy some stock in the Co.

Maybe take a day or two off and just relax.

This might sound weird but it works for me. When you get home take your shoes off, and if your outside playing with your kid don't wear shoes or socks, go barefoot. Just not wearing shoes is relaxing to me. But I have heard that if you walk through the grass barefoot it helps stimulate the body. Something about the energy that is conducted. Im not one for alternative healing and all but like I said it works for me.
I hope you feel better

Having a stressful job, lots of physical activity and having a 2 year old can all wear on you.

When you do sleep, are you sleeping well, or tossing and turning? Do you have allergies? My allergies wake me up in the night (well, sleep time since I work graveyard and never sleep well anyways). Stress can keep you awake at night, even if you're not actively thinking about it. Something I use to knock myself out and KEEP myself asleep is melatonin when I can't sleep. It doesn't work on everyone, and taking too much can actually make you sleep less because it's your body's natural sleep mechanism.

I agree with everyone else, try to quit smoking. As if you need another stressor! But seriously, it'll help more in the long run.

Also, get a babysitter. Get a babysitter. GET a babysitter! You haven't had any time away from the darling little brat, and you need it! Children are utter leeches and although you love them to death you need a break from them every so often.

EvilTOJ said:

Also, get a babysitter. Get a babysitter. GET a babysitter! You haven't had any time away from the darling little brat, and you need it! Children are utter leeches and although you love them to death you need a break from them every so often.

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This is very good advice. Take some time to find a good reliable babysitter. You mentioned your child was in daycare. Ask the daycare providers if they'd be interested in doing a little babysitting occasionally. Most daycare places pay terribly so a lot of times, the teachers supplement their income.

You'll get a reliable, known, trained and trustworthy babysitter that your kid is familiar with, they'll get some extra cash and you'll get some time away from everything with SWMBO to relax.

I think someone else mentioned this, but play hooky from work every so often. Take the time to sleep-in and do some of the odd jobs/chores you have to do. Sometimes, those are the most rewarding days ever.

Everyone has had great input here. +1 on the exercising (I guess this goes hand-in-hand with quitting smoking), hydration, and adequate sleep (7-8 hrs/day). In regards to exercising, the human body builds up metabolic waste and can make you fatigued if nothing is done to get rid of it. Exercise gets rid of it. Also, I'm not against vitamins, but most of your nutrients should be got from food (healthy diet). I think vitamins should only be taken if there is a known lack of something in your diet or a lack of ability for your body (or your environment) to get these vitamins. If your urine is very yellow after taking these vitamins... that's you literally flushing the money you spent on them down the toilet. It's like vitamin C. The body can only handle like 250mg a day, but people are taking 1000mg and flushing it right down the toilet (plus it can't be good for internal organs to filter all of that).

If you follow a lot of the advice here and are still tired, you should get back to the doctor. They don't always think to test for all the possibilities. It could be anything from lyme disease to diabetes to celiac disease to mold exposure (not trying to worry you, just throwing out remote possibities).

I was like that for a while not too long ago......I was kinda stuck in a rut in life, I always felt drained, didn't want to do anything, from like 2pm on I so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open ......even when I drank coffee it only lasted a very short time. No matter how much sleep I got........ it didn't help either. For me it took my GF breaking up with me, which made me take a trip to NYC to get away from things to really start feeling better. I felt like a new man after I got back. I also started taking these pills while I was in NYC. I took 2 every morning and 1 in the afternoon just so I could get around to see everything in the city, but now I just take 1 in the morning and maybe 1 in the afternoon if I didn't get enough sleep that night. I don't feel weird on them at all either. Give them a try you can get them at walmart for $10 for 28, but that link is a much better deal.

You can always catch up on sleep on the weekends. Take naps - even quick ones. Those help quite a bit.

Like others have said, there is no cure for tired but sleep and you're just not getting enough.

I have a four year old and a 10 month old. IIRC, things got a lot better sleep / general malaise - wise around 2 years old with our daughter. They become more independent and you don't have to watch them every second. She also started sleeping much better around that time.

But...with the 10 month old we're back to square one. Exercise seems to help me feel better when I'm draggin'.

I agree with the others that you probably need either more sleep or better sleep. The best test there is how you feel in the morning. If you have to drag yourself out of bed, you are not getting enough quality sleep. All sorts of things can mess up your sleep, including stress, smoking, drinking, allergies, noise, your mattress, acid reflux, and any number of other things. Just start eliminating those factors, and see what works. Definitely quit smoking, even if that is not the issue. Also, go a day or two without the beer and see if that helps. Just get to bed earlier, and see what that does for you.

Several years ago, we got a new mattress, and I felt like a new man after the first night. I hope your problem does not cost as much to fix, but you should consider it.


TL

TexLaw said:

I agree with the others that you probably need either more sleep or better sleep. The best test there is how you feel in the morning. If you have to drag yourself out of bed, you are not getting enough quality sleep. All sorts of things can mess up your sleep, including stress, smoking, drinking, allergies, noise, your mattress, acid reflux, and any number of other things. Just start eliminating those factors, and see what works. Definitely quit smoking, even if that is not the issue. Also, go a day or two without the beer and see if that helps. Just get to bed earlier, and see what that does for you.

Several years ago, we got a new mattress, and I felt like a new man after the first night. I hope your problem does not cost as much to fix, but you should consider it.


TL

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I always feel better when I dont drink. Which is sad because I love beer so much. I can't drink any alcohol within 2 hours of going to bed or I toss and turn all night.

I feel for ya man. Im dreading those days which will be soon for me. I have an idea but unfortunately it isnt legal. Ive *heard* that marijuana is a GREAT stress reliever. Ive *heard* that if you indulge in one or two tokes of indica at night before bed you will sleep like a baby and wake up refreshed. Unfortunately, though, it is illegal, and as such I cannot recommend that you listen to anything Ive said.

I've got a qestion for ya. How old are ya? I know when I was 18 19 even 20 I could go on 2-4 hours of sleep no problem. I hit 21, 4 hours was minimum but 5 would do just fine. Around 24 I noticed I was feeling like a little nancy if I diddn't get at least 7 and only felt good after 8-9. Now I'm 31 and holding steady at 7-9 hours to feel rested. Maybe someday I can get away with 5-6 hours feeling like a million dollars but right now it dosn't feel good at all.

Thirdeye said:

I feel for ya man. Im dreading those days which will be soon for me. I have an idea but unfortunately it isnt legal. Ive *heard* that marijuana is a GREAT stress reliever. Ive *heard* that if you indulge in one or two tokes of indica at night before bed you will sleep like a baby and wake up refreshed. Unfortunately, though, it is illegal, and as such I cannot recommend that you listen to anything Ive said.

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It is true but, alas, I gave that stuff up years ago. Not worth the risk when there is a child involved. There is just this strange stigma with DHS and convictions on drug charges. So on that experience I will pass. The risk of losing my son is just not worth it.

You should get checked for sleep apnea ASAP. My guess is that's what you have.

Swim classes for the boy have finished and that has made a huge difference in how rested I feel. Plus I think the lack of regular exposure to high levels of chlorine has helped improve how tired I look.

I guess it just goes to show that being old, tired, fat,a and a father really has it's impact on your lifestyle. (LOL)

Now, my damned knees are always sore from taking the boy on the bicycle everyday. Geeesh!

SWMBO have worked out a deal. I get to sleep in on Saturdays and she gets up with the boy and then we sawp on Sunday. He still tries his damndest to get an ole man outta bed but, she is trying harder to occupy him until I peel myself out from the sheets.

I'm strong to the finish because I eats me spinach!

Seriously eat more of it! It helps, also raw liver pills, get the old blood flowing with lots of O2.

The other thing you might want to look into is sleep apnia. You may be getting 6 hours of bad sleep because you are not breathing. My uncle had symptoms symilar to what you describe for a while and had to spend time in a sleep lab to figure out what was wrong. Apparently he would just stop breathing for a few minutes at a time when he was sleeping, resulting in very unrestful sleep.

ive felt that way for a long time. Ive finally started walking 2 miles at lunch everyday and I cant tell you how something like this has changed my energy levels so much for the better.

In addition to everything that's been suggested--quit smoking, sleep, water, babysitters...--get your thyroid checked. If something is wrong with your thyroid, there are lots of symptoms that can occur. One such symptom is feeling tired. You'll have to get a blood test that looks at thyroid related hormones. I have Grave's Disease, which means that my immune system is attacking my thyroid and causing it to dump out lots of hormones which causes hyperthyroidism. I probably went undiagnosed for two years because I attributed my symptoms to stress and lack of sleep, reasonable assumptions considering that I was finishing up an engineering degree. Thyroid problems are totally treatable but they need to be detected first with a blood test. A lot of times doctors don't think to conduct these tests. I hope you feel better.

l3lackEyedAngels said:

In addition to everything that's been suggested--quit smoking, sleep, water, babysitters...--get your thyroid checked. If something is wrong with your thyroid, there are lots of symptoms that can occur. One such symptom is feeling tired. You'll have to get a blood test that looks at thyroid related hormones. I have Grave's Disease, which means that my immune system is attacking my thyroid and causing it to dump out lots of hormones which causes hyperthyroidism. I probably went undiagnosed for two years because I attributed my symptoms to stress and lack of sleep, reasonable assumptions considering that I was finishing up an engineering degree. Thyroid problems are totally treatable but they need to be detected first with a blood test. A lot of times doctors don't think to conduct these tests. I hope you feel better.

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I am familiar. My wife has just recently been "studied"/tested for this.