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Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Community > General Chit Chat > Only one mythical Beast for Life
View Poll Results: One beast to bring them all and in the darkness brine them
Unicorns? 7 6.36%
Wolpertinger? (a rabbit with fangs and horns) 23 20.91%
Very small Dogs? 4 3.64%
Sea Serpents? 13 11.82%
The Lernian Hydra? 11 10.00%
Aigikampoi? (Fish-tailed goat) 5 4.55%
Popobawa? (a gay rapist one eyed ogre)? 13 11.82%
Daphnaie? - (Laurel tree nymph) 23 20.91%
Talking Rats? 2 1.82%
Very Large dogs? 9 8.18%
Voters: 110. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-27-2012, 03:29 PM   #111
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Ahem. While you are absolutely right, you are also absolutely wrong!

The poll is about eating these beasts......

I liken the chupacabra to hops. While great for brewing, you wouldn't chew on one.
Well it´s true Chupacabra can be a little chewy but you don´t suppose to grill it you have to make a stew with it, carefully let is simmer for about two moons (make sure that there is a full moon in that period). After a long period it really melts in your mouth.
In order to cook a chùpacabra you have to first get a goat (live) an put it in big cauldron wait for nightime and the Chupacabra will appear... this is the tricky part, you have to be well hidden an covered with feces so Chupacabra can´t get your essence (Chupacabra sense of smell is very sharp and sensitive) soon as the Chupacabra tries to eat the goat you have to push it inside the cauldron cover it with a lid and secure the lid firmly. Wait until chupacabra falls asleep an quickly remove lid and add 100 liters of water 1 kg of carrots 1 celery, salt pepper and half a potato, put lid and secure it ligth the fire and wait for two moons. Don´t over do the salt you can always correct it later Chupacabra can be a little salty by itself.
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Old 09-27-2012, 07:31 PM   #112
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Well it´s true Chupacabra can be a little chewy but you don´t suppose to grill it you have to make a stew with it, carefully let is simmer for about two moons (make sure that there is a full moon in that period). After a long period it really melts in your mouth.
In order to cook a chùpacabra you have to first get a goat (live) an put it in big cauldron wait for nightime and the Chupacabra will appear... this is the tricky part, you have to be well hidden an covered with feces so Chupacabra can´t get your essence (Chupacabra sense of smell is very sharp and sensitive) soon as the Chupacabra tries to eat the goat you have to push it inside the cauldron cover it with a lid and secure the lid firmly. Wait until chupacabra falls asleep an quickly remove lid and add 100 liters of water 1 kg of carrots 1 celery, salt pepper and half a potato, put lid and secure it ligth the fire and wait for two moons. Don´t over do the salt you can always correct it later Chupacabra can be a little salty by itself.
Well........OK......but I imagine a bowling ball might melt in your mouth after being boiled for 2 months, but I digress.

I have a Chupacabra pot left to me by my warlock grandfather. It is a BITCH to move.

He did tell me to HEAVILLY sedate the goat, so that the cupacabra ingests the sedation, otherwise it wakes up and rips out your throat before the second potato has hit it in the head.

He also said to not add the potatoes and carrots until the beat has boiled for 1.99 months, otherwise they are absolutely disintegrated after about 18 hours of boiling.
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Old 09-27-2012, 07:37 PM   #113
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Of course patotoes shoul be desintegrated, what you are looking for is more a gravy feel, the potato will be a part of the sauce and 2 months it´s too much 28 days for a moon, 56 are two moons, you can sedate the Chupacabra but the result wont be the same and if you do sedate it to heavy it may give you a little unwanted booze when you eat it.
You sedate Jewpacabras but not Chupacabras

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Old 09-28-2012, 05:23 AM   #114
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Ahem. While you are absolutely right, you are also absolutely wrong!

The poll is about eating these beasts......

I liken the chupacabra to hops. While great for brewing, you wouldn't chew on one.
You just haven't had one that was cooked properly. They are usually tough because the collagen hasn't been kept at temperature long enough to render into gelatin. It's like brisket, you have to cook it low and slow. When it's ready it just falls apart, like Rome. Man that Nero knew how to throw a party....

Anyway, chupacabra is good barbecue but I still don't think it's better then cold Death. Though Death warmed over is supposed to be even better...
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Old 09-29-2012, 04:33 AM   #115
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So how about it Demon? Are we going to hunt some manbearpig? I need to get more detonators if your down. I usually only carry enough to level a small country...

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Old 09-29-2012, 05:43 PM   #116
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So how about it Demon? Are we going to hunt some manbearpig? I need to get more detonators if your down. I usually only carry enough to level a small country...
Got you covered, yeah, unless you want to just do "catch and release" we will need more than that.

I had planned on systematically detonating the southern hemisphere (starting at the pole) in order to flush them onto at least one hemisphere.

From there we can use tin foil hats to locate them pretty easily.

EDIT*

OH HOLY ELEPHANT FVCK.

You were saying it right, but somehow I was reading were-pig.

I think that man-bear-pigs are actually made-up. You know, not real?

I am SO sorry!
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Old 09-29-2012, 05:59 PM   #117
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Manbearpig is real. We all are very serial about it.

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Old 09-29-2012, 06:23 PM   #118
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Manbearpig is real. We all are very serial about it.
I though that Matt Stone made it up?

How could it be real, with virttually no mention, EVER except on southpark?

Show me a recipe book and I will get cereal about it too.
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Old 09-29-2012, 06:47 PM   #119
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This recipes are not in a book they came from the oral traidtion of mediaval times were books were not that important but this recipes have been transferred mouth to mouth and generation to generation to these days. I can´t tell you the recipe because it can only teach this to my children... it´s a family thing. The problem is a don´t have children only a dog. I´ve tried to explain my dog how to cook a manbearpig but I don´t hink my dog understand english spanish or italian and he does there is no way I can know... I can always adopt you cheezydemon3... but i prefer not to.

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Old 09-30-2012, 04:03 AM   #120
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Wait wait wait... There's more then one hemisphere?!?!?!??!

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