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Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Community > General Chit Chat > Need Parenting/Marriage Advice
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Old 05-18-2012, 05:52 PM   #1
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Default Need Parenting/Marriage Advice

My wife (stay at home) and I have a 2.5 year old boy. He has always been attached to me. It has become more apparent now that it is warmer outside and have been spending WAY too much time prepping to paint my house as well as other chores he can't be around me for. He cries a lot for me.

He started a pretty high fever last night so he was not happy about me leaving for work today. I planned on going to my first homebrew competition an hour away on Saturday. I also agreed to take a friend's entry up AFTER he found out I was going. I very rarely take any solo time for myself (other than brewing and dangerous chores). My wife is upset that I still want to go to the competition because he will be probably be a mess.

Try not to be biased. Should I stay or should I go?

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:05 PM   #2
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In my honest opinion, I think you need to stay home. Your son obviously needs you, and though your wife should be able to handle the situation, you really should be there for him because he's sick. In the longer term, your wife needs to figure out how to satiate him so you can get things done, whether that be projects or "me" time. As for your friend, you promised this only when he found out you were going, not because you invited it. If it's that important, then he needs to do it on his own. Kids gotta come first.

But that's my opinion. Your results may vary.

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:06 PM   #3
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Don't mean to be harsh but ... what's more important to you.... your familiy or your beer..?

Does your wife get time for herself...?

There were alot of things I passed up while my kids were growing up but looking back, I don't regret one bit of it. Now that I have one young'un off in college and the other a HS senior who isn't around much, I have plenty of time for myself and SWIMBO and I are are enjoying being a couple again.

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:07 PM   #4
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This is always a tough situation. Once in a while you have to stop everything and spend a solid hour with the kid, no distractions, no interruptions. On the same token, you have to drop everything to do exactly what YOU feel like doing once in a while too. It's very simple for a SAHM to get pissed because they feel like they are 100% focused on the kid 24/7. I'd say go to the comp and reciprocate by setting aside time with the kid, take him out of the house for a few hours so your wife can catch up on 50 Shades of Grey.

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:16 PM   #5
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I appreciate the solid advice!!! She does get time to herself, she has gone to two concerts in the past month. And I do spend time with him, esp. on rainy days, weekend mornings and I always do bath time and bed. I am obviously torn. Part of me feels like we coddle him too much, but he is ONLY 2 1/2. thanks again!

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:20 PM   #6
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my kid is that age. it is hard. you can't really expect perfect fairness and division of responsibility between partners right now -- daily life is so taxing, with your kid needing attention literally every waking hour, that parents cope differently and need different things at different times. So, I guess I'm saying, stay home and do your best with the fam.

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:26 PM   #7
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Take the kid with you to the competition?

Otherwise, if you're not sure, err on the side of the wife/kid. The returns are far greater.

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:32 PM   #8
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I have kids at that age too, and I would stay home if taking the family with you isn't an option.

Having a happy wife is worth more than a thousands first place prizes.

Sooner or later you'll miss being the favorite.

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:38 PM   #9
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I gave up brewclub because it wasn't conducive to a life with kids.

I take my me time at night while they sleep.

However, I also had to teach my 2 sons (5 and 3) that there is a time for work and a time for play. The sooner the work is done the more time there is for play.

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Old 05-18-2012, 06:41 PM   #10
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My kids are a little older but I would say if hes not feeling any better tomorrow than stay home. I know this is tough to pass up but in the long term you will be glad you did. This is the best age IMO because their personality is really starting to break out and when older you will miss this age so much

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