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Old 10-28-2008, 07:20 PM   #1
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Default If Microsoft built cars.....

It's probably a myth, BUT having to deal with Bill Gate's creation on a daily basis, I thought I'd share...

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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads .

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:23 PM   #2
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lol perfect

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Old 10-28-2008, 07:25 PM   #3
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And yet, GM still opted to incorprate "Synch" into several cars.

A stepping stone for what is to come perhaps?

I am convinced that my GMC runs on Windows. Once I had multiple warning lights come on indicating brake failure. Checked the manual and it literally said to "...shut off engine and restart. If indicators clear then it is okay to drive."

WTF?

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Old 10-28-2008, 07:30 PM   #4
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lol That's good Reminds me of the "Family Guy" where Peter is locked INSIDE his car and the keys are on the ground.

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Old 10-28-2008, 07:33 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GilaMinumBeer View Post
And yet, GM still opted to incorprate "Synch" into several cars.

A stepping stone for what is to come perhaps?

I am convinced that my GMC runs on Windows. Once I had multiple warning lights come on indicating brake failure. Checked the manual and it literally said to "...shut off engine and restart. If indicators clear then it is okay to drive."

WTF?
LOL...I have an intermittent security problem in my impala...it's happened twice at the same gas station, 6 months apart.

I fill my tank and go to restart the car and it won't turn over, and the red security warning pops up on the little screen (the only security thing my car has is one of those little dimples on the base of the ignition key.)

I end up having to wait 10 minutes turn the key to accessory pump the brakes twice and the gas once and it then turns over....

I sincerely believe that that gas station must sit in the shadow of a cellphone tower or something and bleeding microwaves are triggering it or something...I can't for the life of me understand it...and the owner's manual is no help...

You know...my dad's first car was a hand cranked model t ford....he never had THAT starting problem I bet...


*sigh* Ain't technology wunnerful?
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:33 PM   #6
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If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

Different versions of this joke have been floating around the net for the past couple years, but I found this one especially hilarious. It was found by Bruce Kingsland. The original author is unknown.

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

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Old 10-28-2008, 07:37 PM   #7
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"I end up having to wait 10 minutes turn the key to accessory pump the brakes twice and the gas once and it then turns over...."

GM's equivalent to CTRL-ALT-DELETE to log-in?

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Old 10-28-2008, 07:46 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GilaMinumBeer View Post
"I end up having to wait 10 minutes turn the key to accessory pump the brakes twice and the gas once and it then turns over...."

GM's equivalent to CTRL-ALT-DELETE to log-in?
Yep...Just about...
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Last edited by Revvy; 10-28-2008 at 07:53 PM.
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:53 PM   #9
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My dad had an old beater Ford pickup ( the old ones with all the curves). No key just a push button to start and a kill switch. You could seat 12 under the hood comfortably and the thing would not die.

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Old 10-28-2008, 08:02 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Revvy View Post
It's probably a myth, BUT having to deal with Bill Gate's creation on a daily basis, I thought I'd share...
I've been in IT for 15 years and that's been around almost as long as I have. Gates may have made the comparison, I don't know. I doubt it went down quite like that though.

Still makes me chuckle everytime I read it though.
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