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Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Community > General Chit Chat > How To Get A New Brewware Past Your Swmbo
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:58 PM   #1
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Default How To Get A New Brewware Past Your Swmbo

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Disclaimer
CAUTION, the following is posted as Humor for entertainment value only.
The author assumes no responsibility for the use of this information, nor will I except calls from disgruntled spousal units




HOW TO GET A NEW BREWWARE PAST YOUR SWMBO.

Tactic #1

After purchasing your very expensive brewing equipment, carefully coat it with dust, and wrap in the oldest newpaper you can find. Something from 1972 is about right. Cover with spider webs. It helps if there is a strong odor of mold about it.

Carry the package into the house and casually toss into a corner.

When the SWMBO Walksnaps "What THAT?" "MORE BEER STUFF?"

You offhandedly reply, "Oh, you remember old Joe Washisname?"

"He got (choose one, and REMEMBER which you chose) on a binge, got divorced, left town, etc; "and needed money". "I gave him $5.00 for this old keg”. Unwrap JUST enough paper to allow her to see dusty metal. Wave close to her nose so smell hits her, and spider webs get on her.

"Oh, Ok, just get it out of the house".

Casually toss it into corner of basement. Over a period of several weeks, gradually clean up your new prize and move, one step at a time toward the brewhouse. Allow her to see dusty, dirty equipment in cleaning area. Slightly cleaner beer stuff in corner, etc. By the time you get your beauty fully clean and into the brewhouse, she is so used to seeing it around, that she won't notice that it's an expensive item.


Tactic #2

Walk directly into house with new Beer Stuff. Be bold, you haven’t done anything wrong (like buy more beer stuff with asking).

When the SWMBO Walksnaps "What THAT?" "MORE BEER STUFF?"

You offhandedly reply, "Oh, you remember old Joe Washisname?"

He bought this and needs me to hold it for him until he clears it with his SWMBO. Place it in the least noticable part of the brewhouse. All Beer Stuff looks the same to SWMBO’s. Eventuly she will forget about it and you move it around to where you want it.

Tactic #3

If you’re cleaver enough to get it in the house without her seeing it, place it amongst all your other beer stuff like it’s always been there.

IF SWMBO detectes it and Walksnaps "What THAT?" "NEW BEER STUFF?"

You offhandedly reply, " "New?!? I've had this for years!"

Remember this must be done with a stright face, because the pentilites for getting caught are quite sever.


OK, how about it. Any more ideas on how to get new BEER STUFF into the house?
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:03 PM   #2
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Those could all work, I suppose, but I use tactic #4.

I buy stuff, then I tell her what I bought, how much it was and when it's coming. Then I tell her what it does and how it's going to help me brew, how it's going to save me money. Then she rolls her eyes and turns up the TV.

SWMBO has her own money to spend and I have my own money to spend. I can't complain about the shoes/clothes/whatever that she buys and she can't complain about the brewing equipment that I buy. It work out really well.

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Old 12-06-2007, 03:05 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiobrewtus
Those could all work, I suppose, but I use tactic #4.

I buy stuff, then I tell her what I bought, how much it was and when it's coming. Then I tell her what it does and how it's going to help me brew, how it's going to save me money. Then she rolls her eyes and turns up the TV.

SWMBO has her own money to spend and I have my own money to spend. I can't complain about the shoes/clothes/whatevr that she buys and she can't complain about the brewing equipment that I buy. It work out really well.
Same here. As long as the bills are paid, we support our respective hobbies with no questions asked. I must say though, she did recently write the check for my keggle...
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:09 PM   #4
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Tactic #5 Try to bribe her.
" you know that beer you like? Well I ordered a recipe from (who ever) along with a few other things I needed, and I wanted to try to make it for you."
When the package comes in the mail, she'll know what it is and maybe, if you are lucky, she won't open it. Then just put all the other stuff you "needed" in you brew area and show her the kit you bought for her. easy as pie.

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Old 12-06-2007, 03:12 PM   #5
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Wow, that seems like a lot of effort just to deceive your wife. I bet you're great at cheating on her

Someone's been watching a little too much Ocean's 11.

There was someone on here who was trying to figure out a way to buy brewing stuff without his wife finding out. We're talking bank-job type schemes, you know? All I had to say was: marriage counseling. If you can't be open about spending some money on doing what you love, then either you need counseling, or you're spending beyond your means and you need to throttle back a bit. Either way, deceit is not a great way to go about your life.

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Old 12-06-2007, 03:16 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan!
Either way, deceit is not a great way to go about your life.
Bingooo. I do think this thread is light-hearted but yeah, lyings not a good practice...
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:19 PM   #7
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gees, chill EVAN

This post is all in fun.

I actually use TACTIC #6,

She gets something for her sewing room for everything I get for the brewhouse.

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Old 12-06-2007, 03:22 PM   #8
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In my house it goes one of two ways.

#1:

Me: "Can we get a chest freezer for better fermentation control? Our beer will be much better."

SWMBO: "OK. I see one on craigslist. Why don't you go get it tomorrow. Does this mean we can do Dopplebocks now?"

Me: "I love you."

#2:

SWMBO: "We're almost out of Apfelwein, but all the carboys are full. Can we get another one?"

Me: "I'll do that right now."

SWMBO: "I love you."

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Old 12-06-2007, 03:22 PM   #9
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I'm chilled. That dude the other day was dead serious, though, and there was no way to tell, looking at your original post, that you were kidding.

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.planned:
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.primary | bright:
98: Moss Hollow Soured '09 72: Oude Kriek 99: B-Weisse 102: Brett'd BDSA 104: Feat of Strength Helles Bock 105: Merkin Brown
.on tap | kegged:
XX: Moss Hollow Springs Sparkling Water 95: Gott Mit Uns German Pils 91b: Brown Willie's Oaked Abbey Ale 103: Merkin Stout
98: Yorkshire Special 100: Maple Porter 89: Cidre Saison 101: Steffiweizen '09 (#3)
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:22 PM   #10
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Yeah, let's not get all judgmental around here.... I'm taking the original post in a very lighthearted spirit. I mean, I have honest discussions with my wife about what I spend on brewing - I just don't initiate them!

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