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**GilaMinumBeer** · 04-13-2012, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CreamyGoodness

Wow, we just quoted William Blake AND Bill Hicks in a single thread. The world smells like pine and wonder again.

No mah! It's Ralph Lauren Polo, I swear it.

Gear101 · 04-13-2012, 05:19 PM

I like the note idea; here let me right it for you,
I was driving around the other day, just looking for some young children to give free candy to out of the back of my van. When I came across your home, I found it very interesting and while looking in your back yard, I saw something that really liked and would like to see more of. It looked like one of the nicest things that I have seen in a long time. Would like to get together with you and your family and talk about this.
Eagerly waiting for your response
Wild Bill

And make sure that you spray the note with some Prada Colon.

**CreamyGoodness** · 04-13-2012, 05:22 PM

Wont this Prada chap be needing to keep his colon?

**FullDraw** · 04-13-2012, 06:16 PM

Wow, I open the door for some advice, and a damn party breaks out. Sad thing is, there were kids in the backyard.

I'll just stop by and speak face to face. Though I do like the adversity angle. Well played sir.

**paulster2626** · 04-13-2012, 06:28 PM

Hopefully they aren't home brewers and you can come and take all of their hops.

I'd do the note thing, but cut letters out of newspapers and stick 'em on the paper.

**landshark** · 04-13-2012, 07:18 PM

This is what I would do:

Watch the wife of the house, take notes of her habits, where she shops, etc. Then proceed to have a random "Run in" with her at some store in public, introduce yourself, and butter her up. Plan/try to meet her again some time. If she turns you down, either repeat or go to plan B.

Continue meeting with her whenever possible and drop a hint of your hobby of homebrewing, try to get closer to her. See how she feels about the hobby, Somewhere along the way in here, seduce her. This works even better if she lets you in her house for some of the rendezvous as you get a chance to sample some of the home brew as well. Around harvest time, ask her if you can get in to harvest some hops. If all is going well and you are playing your cards right she wont be liking her husband around this time and she will help you harvest all of the hops just to spite her husband. After you get the hops, explain it would never work between you and her as you still love your wife and want to make amends with you family.

This is the best option as you get his hops, beer, and woman. Should make for an interesting fun summer.

Plan B. Monitor the house for all activity, take notes of when people come and go. Who leaves when, what vehicle is who's, when are they home, when are they gone, etc. After a month or 2 of steady monitoring and you have their habits figured out, wait until it is just about harvest time for the hops, you can't wait too long, as you need to beat the owner to them. Ensure the schedule you monitored them to is still accurate. Then, after everyone is gone for the day to work or school, take your buckets and a ladder over there and harvest everything you can. This is best during the day as it looks less suspicious and you can safely see what you are doing. Just be sure you are finished harvesting and long gone before anyone gets back home.