Originally Posted by Brew-medic
... I am married... She approached my wife ... borrow me for a first date ... I think that this would help us, that is my wife and I ... thrill of the chase is gone ... might inspire a better love life.
Yup, an absolutely horrible idea. I can imagine a person's significant other potentially already being quietly devastated by this ... particularly if that person was a sensitive, polite sort of person. Personally, I would be considering damage-control mode.
And for cryin out loud *don’t* tell your wife your theory about it spicing up your marriage. OMG ... “danger, Will Robinson ... danger! danger!...”
Regarding the girl who wanted you to do this ...
One of the best ways to have consistency in your dates, including bad ones, is to keep getting your dates at the same place ... from the same sort of circumstance ... from the same group of people, or with same type of person. I don’t know if that is what she is doing, but that is a prescription for continuing the problem.
Some years back I was part of a large loosely knit group of people who loosely (and sometimes not so loosely) knew each other and would frequent the same places for nightlife and entertainment - a group of clubs, bars and restaurants in the West Bloomfield, Michigan area ... Ristorante di Modesto ... Excalibur ... Manuels ... Big Daddy’s ... Morton's etc.
In our group I knew one particular girl who, similarly to your roommate, was desperate to have some sort of dating success; but instead had failure after failure.
She was great looking, intelligent, classy, well spoken, had a good job and was fun to be around; yet she was constantly getting dumped, stood-up, couldn’t get a Saturday-date with the guys who she was seeing ... and seemed to be generally treated off-hand by her dates. The problem was, she was getting all her dates from the same pool (the larger group we hung around) and all the guys she was seeing fit basically the same mold ... it’s a bit of an over-simplification but the basic model was a three-time divorcee with very high disposable income and who were dating 5 girls at a time.
She did not get different results until she found her dates at very different sorts of places.
Another thing that helped was her writing a list of exactly the qualities she wanted in a guy and then carrying it (privately) with her and reviewing it periodically.
The act of writing it down helped her to clarify in her own subconscious, what she was going to go for.
Possibly, your roommate’s problem is not the “how”, but the where and the who.