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Old 03-15-2008, 01:12 AM   #1
The Pol
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Default Baby Momma Drama

Some of you may recall a post about a year ago where my wife and I scored a victory in court while my sons mother was trying her best not to allow him to come to my home. A year later, and many games later... this is my story.

We are heading to court for the second time in 2008... I was awarded long distance patenting time for summers since we live 5-6 hours apart and thus weekend visits are not even healthy for my son (we moved for my job). His mother is trying to block my ability to have him in my home for half the summer, thinking it is detrimental to his well being. This is why we are returning to court on April 1st...

Tonight I was told that my home is not safe.
We do not love my son.
His teacher is going to testify in court that coming to my home is not in his best interest.
My PARENTS are going to testify that he should not be allowed to come to my home.

Etc...
Keep in mind that his teacher and I email on a weekly basis concerning my sons progress and I recieve all of his weeky school updates from her. Also keep in mind that his teacher advocated allowing my son to even email me from school so that we can also communicate that way, in addition to telephone contact. Keep in mind that the email thing, his mother does not want to allow? Why?

My home is not safe, although his mother, nor any social worker have visited our home, let alone while my son is here visiting. This is a recurring statement that is never very specific.

We do not love my son... which of course is why we go to court and fight this rediculous crap every six months, and why I gleefully pay child support. It is also why his bedroom on our new home, that he has not yet had a chance to visit, is completely decorated BEFORE my own... yup, I hate that brat!

My parents are going to testify, along with his teachers? At this point I called her bluff and said, well I am recording this call... so I certainly hope that all of these people show up, otherwise after listening to this the judge will think you are only trying to intimidate and harass me. He will also know that you are a liar...

At this point she hung up abruptly...

Why is it that someone can suffer from such severe psychosis that they will do EVERYTHING including lying under oathe to keep thier own child from his father?

My option will be this... send a social worker to my home and allow them to stay the ENTIRE 7 weeks this summer while my son is being tormented and abused in my home... while we break him down and defeat his spirit, then you can take him out of my home based on something real. Hows that sound?

My wife, so fed up with my sons biological mother, has joined a group of step moms sufferin from the same issues... apparently biological moms going completely batty is not uncommon whatsoever! Who'd have thought all of that estrogen could cause such trauma.

When SWMBO is having her time of the month, remember me, and thank your SWMBO for only being cranky and not wanting to take over the world.

Thanks for listening...

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Old 03-15-2008, 01:26 AM   #2
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It sounds like she hates you and is using the kid as a weapon.

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Old 03-15-2008, 01:31 AM   #3
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Sounds like a really unfortunately situation. Keep your head high and your spirits strong, hopefully the judge will have the good sense to see the situation for what it is.

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Old 03-15-2008, 01:43 AM   #4
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Oh, she hates me, I dont even think that is a strong enough word. My opinion is this... I can walk in there and tell the court that she beats my son, that she verbally abuses him, sexually abuses him and locks him in the basement and should be stripped form her care. It is all a lie, and I have no proof, and they would never do it based on that. My situation is the same, it is all a lie, it is all a fabrication and exagerration of the facts, so should they take any action based on that? No. There is such a thing as supervised parenting time, and I'd welcome it... I dont know what her excuse would be after a professional deems my home safe for my son, but trust me, there would be one... and it would be just as dramatic.
Youd think that I never graduated HS, had no job, lived in a trailer and made my kids sleep in dog houses outdoors! Instead of being a Christian airline captain that lives in a new subdivision with a daughter and a wife and loving family.

If you wanted your child to have a more solid relationship with the other parent, would YOU object to allowing him to email the other parent from school with the help of his teacher? And if so... why? His teacher recommended this because my son has communicated to her that he is sad that he has not seen me in a while. Would you object to it? Would you think the teacher was acting inappropriately?

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Old 03-15-2008, 02:02 AM   #5
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One of my friends ex is battier than a loon. He went through similar hassles, she even called the cops on him a couple times. He had been granted 8 hours every two weeks and she was trying very hard to prevent that. Etc. Fast forward about a year. Yet another court hearing, with a slight difference: she told off him, his lawyer, HER own lawyer, the judge, bit one of the deputies. He walked out a full-time dad! The judge issued a restraining order against her and ordered the police to escort him & his daughter to the ex's house to remove all of the kids stuff.

She violated the order a couple times, moved out of state & is now serving time for trying to kill her mother. Sometimes ex's ARE crazy.

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Old 03-15-2008, 02:14 AM   #6
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Dude, I wish she would allow them all to see her true colors...

My sons mom told me last week that our court order did not state that I get him for spring break, here is what is reads: FATHER granted alternate spring breaks beginning in 2008. She then back peddles this week and sayes that regardless of the order, the Parenting Time Guideline states that fathers get spring breaks during ODD numbered years. Well, I pulled out my copy of the guideline and it states MOTHERS ODD YEARS/FATHERS EVEN YEARS: Spring Break.

So, what sort of psychosis actually changes wording that is black and white, on paper, in front of someone? Basically her 30 minute rant tonight was nothing but lies... the stupid thing is that they are all lies that I can verify in like 10 minutes... so what is the point?

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Old 03-15-2008, 02:48 AM   #7
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I went through all these things from the age of 5 until the day I turned 18. Only advice I have is try your best to keep your children out of the fights. My dad never involved me while my mom constantly would bad mouth my dad and drag me into their fights - not something I ever enjoyed. You longterm relationship with your children is more important than winning fights with an ex.

I hope it all works out for you - my mom did the same thing to my dad when they were in court. She would drag everyone I had any contact with into court to tell the judge how much my dad neglected me - even people who had never met my dad. My neighbor would say stuff like I smelled like I hadn't showered and wasn't obedient when returning from my dads. Of course it was all lies but what can you do?

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Old 03-15-2008, 02:54 AM   #8
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A guy I work with deals is dealing with a similar situation. The soon to be ex is causing all sorts of problems and he pretty much can't get anyone to side with him. Too often the courts, the social workers, etc... automatically side with the woman in these situations.
Are your parents seriously going against you or is that just what she is saying?


Good Luck, and keep fighting for your kid.

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Old 03-15-2008, 03:02 AM   #9
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WOW, you were the son? I feel for you. I have a very low opinion of my sons mother, and she is a compulsive liar, and has some sort of psychosis... but Id NEVER tell my son this, and I never share my feelings about his mother with him. I do not want to lose his respect, and I dont want him to be uncomfotable, or feel like it is not OK to love his mom. She will make my son, physically hold him by her side, as she yells and berates myself and my wife... and then testifies that my home is unsafe for him. I tell him to get in the car, that he does not need to be a part of the argument that SHE starts (I dont argue, there is nothing to argue about really)... and she will grab him and tell him to listen to it. Why?

I am sorry that your mother was that way with your father, but I am grateful that you grew up understanding what was REALLY happening. That is what worries me, whether or not my son will begin to beleive all of the lies that he hears.

It is coming to the point where I will not talk to his mother at all. I speak with his teachers, and I speak with him, but her and I have little to discuss... and when she opens her mouth, she lies and curses and threatens us. I really think that I will begin to simply hang up on her if she tries to engage me in any conversation, or walk away.

Again, I feel for you, I am sorry that someone who is supposed to love you, did that to you and your father. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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Old 03-15-2008, 03:08 AM   #10
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I have not had a relationship with my folks in a while... long story, but they lied to me a few too many times and then lied to me to cover thier a$$es and I had enough of them hurting my family. Hard decision, but I have a wife and kids to protect... my parents may be dishonest and hurtful, but I SERIOUSLY doubt that they would ever get involved in this mess. Everything else that my sons mom said tonight turned out to be a lie, so I presume that was too.

I wonder how my sons teacher is going to feel, knowing that my sons mother lied about her testifying against me in court. His teachers and I have always had great relationships and weekly contact concerning my son. Imagine the next parent teacher conference between her and my sons mother... uncomfortable?!

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