Happy HolidaySs Giveaway - Last Sponsor Giveaway of the Year!

Come Enter the BrewDeals/FastFerment Giveaway!


Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Community > General Chit Chat > The anti-halloween thread.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-27-2012, 12:00 AM   #1
sonofgrok
n00basaurus
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
sonofgrok's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Waco, TX
Posts: 1,148
Liked 251 Times on 183 Posts
Likes Given: 121

Default The anti-halloween thread.

I hate Halloween. I hate it. The only time I ever liked it was back in my college days because chicks wore slutty costumes and we threw mad parties.

I live in a neighborhood that people have decided is Halloween friendly. Parents from all over town literally bus (not joking) their kids into my neighborhood to trick or treat. The population in my neighborhood quadruples on this one night a year.

Now the first 2 years after we moved here, we tried to be good sports about the whole thing. We bought full size candy bars, were super friendly, and all that bullsh!t. You know what we got in return? Kids being assholes. I cannot tell you how many kids are just jerks when you give them candy. Add that in with going through $50 worth of candy in 30 minutes, the doorbell every two seconds freaking my dogs out, and the ungrateful little sh!ts smashing up my yard and bitching about only being allowed one fullsize candybar or one handful of candy... I am done. No more Halloween at my house. Now, the lights stay off and the doorbell gets taped up.

Oh, people still come to the door and try to knock and even jiggle the handle. 4 years of this so far and I still dread every Halloween. Its like night of the living poorly raised children... my own personal hell...

Grrrrrrr.
Yes, I am a bitter bastard.

__________________

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." ~Ernest Hemingway

sonofgrok is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:06 AM   #2
Sir Humpsalot
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Sir Humpsalot's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,043
Liked 82 Times on 66 Posts
Likes Given: 22

Default

LOL Wow!

What you need to do is have fun with it. Dress up like a scarecrow, wear dark glasses, ski cap, hat, bulky clothing to obscure your breathing. Sit motionless on your porch with a sign hung around your neck stating "please take only one."

If the kid takes one, remain motionless and say goodbye to the kid after he is a good 10-20 feet away... Just a little startle. But if they try to take more than one, jerk violently and shout in your best demonic voice, "I SAID TAKE ONLY ONE!!!!!"

It's hilarious. You will have the older kids (the worst of the brats), literally ****ting their pants!!! It makes Halloween worth it for me.

__________________
In Process: Mango Beer, Homebrewers Pale Ale
Bottled/Kegged:Spicy Light Rye, Rice-adjunct Pale Ale, Mild Bourbon Porter, Roasty Stout, Basic Light Mead, Bourbon County Stout Clone
Up Next: Berlinerweiss, Chocolate Raspberry Ale, and American IPA
Sir Humpsalot is offline
gratus fermentatio Likes This 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:06 AM   #3
Subsailor
Life is Tough, Stupid makes it Tougher
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Subsailor's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Prescott Valley, Arizona
Posts: 1,190
Liked 508 Times on 328 Posts
Likes Given: 3705

Default

+100
My wife and kids have been upset with me about this for years. I don't participate. The family used to go off and do the neighborhood tour and leave me at the house with the understanding that I would answer the door pass out candy. Never happened, as soon as they left, off went the outside lights. Yet none of them would miss out on collecting their own treats and watch the door at home. Annoying, and the family calls me "grumpy old fart" and "don't you like to see all the little children in their costumes?" No, I don't.

__________________
SSBN 618 G
SSBN 641 B
SSBN 658 G
SSBN 641 B
Subsailor is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:07 AM   #4
Revvy
Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Revvy's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Detroitish" Michigan
Posts: 40,804
Liked 2767 Times on 1657 Posts
Likes Given: 3485

Default

I love Halloween, it's Christmas I hate....

__________________

Like my snazzy new avatar? Get Sons of Zymurgy swag, here, and brew with the best.

Revvy's one of the cool reverends. He has a Harley and a t-shirt that says on the back "If you can read this, the bitch was Raptured. - Madman

I gotta tell ya, just between us girls, that Revvy is HOT. Very tall, gorgeous grey hair and a terrific smile. He's very good looking in person, with a charismatic personality... he drives like a ****ing maniac! - YooperBrew

Revvy is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:09 AM   #5
Shooter
Almaigan Brewing Co.
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Shooter's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Dublin (No, not that Dublin)
Posts: 4,454
Liked 233 Times on 180 Posts
Likes Given: 38

Default

Boy, don't get me started on Arbor Day!!!!! Plant your own tree FOOL!!!! AAAAaaaaargh!!!

__________________

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. - C. S. Lewis, English essayist & juvenile novelist (1898 - 1963)

Shooter is offline
4
People Like This 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:11 AM   #6
AZ_IPA
PKU
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
AZ_IPA's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Cold Part of AZ
Posts: 43,413
Liked 6253 Times on 5427 Posts
Likes Given: 803

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooter View Post
AAAAaaaaargh!!!
How do you feel about "Talk Like a Pirate" Day?
__________________
AZ_IPA is offline
3
People Like This 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:11 AM   #7
sonofgrok
n00basaurus
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
sonofgrok's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Waco, TX
Posts: 1,148
Liked 251 Times on 183 Posts
Likes Given: 121

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooter View Post
Boy, don't get me started on Arbor Day!!!!! Plant your own tree FOOL!!!! AAAAaaaaargh!!!
Awesome.
__________________

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." ~Ernest Hemingway

sonofgrok is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:12 AM   #8
Shooter
Almaigan Brewing Co.
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Shooter's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Dublin (No, not that Dublin)
Posts: 4,454
Liked 233 Times on 180 Posts
Likes Given: 38

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AZ_IPA View Post
How do you feel about "Talk Like a Pirate" Day?
AAAaaaargh!!!!!
__________________

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. - C. S. Lewis, English essayist & juvenile novelist (1898 - 1963)

Shooter is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:16 AM   #9
sonofgrok
n00basaurus
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
sonofgrok's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Waco, TX
Posts: 1,148
Liked 251 Times on 183 Posts
Likes Given: 121

Default

I do remember one year, this really sweet kid came up with his dad. For some reason my MIL had bought us a bunch of raisin boxes to hand out that year and of course none of the kids were taking them. This kid got genuinely excited "Oh yay raisins! Thank you so much sir." His dad looked genuinely embarrassed. Me: "Sure kid. Here is a whole bag of them.". The kid looked like he might just pass out from genuine ecstasy.

__________________

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." ~Ernest Hemingway

sonofgrok is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-27-2012, 12:16 AM   #10
BoomerHarley
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: oakland, ca
Posts: 210
Liked 62 Times on 41 Posts
Likes Given: 22

Default

One year when I was young and single, my roommate and I decided to embrace Halloween. We made some really horrible pumpkins and I just shoved candles through the sides of the pumpkin, dripped fake blood around the incisions asnd lit them on fire. We had death metal playing and when he answered the door, i stood in the background wearing an evil costume and stared at them crazy.

We got three trick or treaters. I heard several kids crying to their parents "But I don;t want to go to that house"

__________________
BoomerHarley is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Reply



Quick Reply
Message:
Options
Thread Tools


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Great Halloween Costume Thread of 09 ! chefchris Home Brewing Photo Forum 47 10-28-2011 04:02 PM
Halloween Decoration Thread cheezydemon3 General Chit Chat 6 10-09-2010 03:28 PM
Halloween costume thread EvilTOJ General Chit Chat 23 09-11-2008 08:17 PM
why the anti hooch thread shoes45 General Techniques 84 08-12-2008 10:24 PM



Newest Threads

LATEST SPONSOR DEALS