Electric Brewing Supply 30A BCS Giveaway!


Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Beer > General Beer Discussion > X-Mass Dream: Homebrew Servant
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-17-2006, 05:10 PM   #1
treehouse
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Little River, CA
Posts: 172
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts

Default X-Mass Dream: Homebrew Servant

I was thinking the other day while cleaning up after a particularly taxing and messy batch, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a servant come in and take over all the cleaning chores". It would go something like this.

My assistant, James, would be a dignified Englishman like somebody from Upstairs Downstairs who spoke with a slight Scottish brogue. He would be dressed in a dark suit with a clean white appron. He would have an amazing head of white hair. While I brewed away, he would quietly compliment me on my technique and skill. "Lovely way you stir that wort sir. Just lovely". "Thank you James. Now could you pass me that glass of "Treehouse's Incredibly Tasty Bitter". "Very Good sir".

After I was done brewing, I would signal to James that it was time for him to clean up the pots, pans, counters, instruments, etc. "James you can take over now. I'm going to step out on the veranda and drink a Wee Heavy. Carry on". "Very good sir".

Later, I would find a spotless kitchen and all the brew equipment sparkling clean, organized and stored away. "Thank you James. You may now retire. Oh, and here, have one of my prize winning homebrews for your troubles". "Excellent sir. Excellent. More than enough compensation sir."

After I awoke from this dream, I went downstairs and found sticky pots, dried grain stuck to the walls, many empties of "Treehouse's Sorta Good Ale" and the smell of hops and boiled grain in the air. "James?" I called. "Where are you James?" "James......."

__________________
treehouse is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-17-2006, 06:17 PM   #2
magno
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
magno's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 909
Liked 5 Times on 4 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
"Where are you James?" "James......."
Hes not over here, or maybe hes just slacking.
__________________
magno is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-18-2006, 02:25 PM   #3
Ol' Grog
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chickasha, OK.
Posts: 1,037
Liked 2 Times on 2 Posts

Default

Dreams....ahhhhh...what we could do with them if they became a reality. If mine came true to life, we'll, let's just say I'd be paying alimony and child support....

__________________
Ol' Grog is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-18-2006, 02:28 PM   #4
Cheesefood
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Poo-Poo Land
Posts: 6,809
Liked 32 Times on 22 Posts

Default

So you want a british dude instead of a hot, feisty german beerwench? I want a blonde Svetlana who brings me beers and gives me a shoulder massage while resting her boobs on my head. One who looks like St Pauly Girl, cleans like Martha Stewart and has an amazing sex drive.

You can have your dude. Enjoy him as your wish.

__________________
Past Winners: Caramel Cream Ale #1, Hoegaarden Clone, Boom-Boom Vanilla Ale, Lazy Monk Abbey Style, Amarillo Cream Ale. (AG),

Buy a shirt now!!! Please! Did I help you? Buya shirt!
Cool Shirts.


Cheesefood is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-18-2006, 02:28 PM   #5
rdwj
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
rdwj's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Plainfield, IL
Posts: 4,594
Liked 19 Times on 14 Posts

Default

Come on, if you going to have a servent, make it one like this...



She could sanitize my primary ANY time!

__________________
On Tap: Whatever I just brewed (got sick of updating it)
rdwj is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-18-2006, 02:29 PM   #6
the_bird
10th-Level Beer Nerd
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
the_bird's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Posts: 20,540
Liked 378 Times on 311 Posts
Likes Given: 100

Default

See, now THAT would have been a great 1,000th post!

Have you been holding out on us?

__________________
Come join Yankee Ingenuity!

"I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch and it's only 6:30 so I can't stop drinking yet." - Yooper's Bob
"Brown eye finally recovered after the abuse it endured in Ptown last weekend, but it took almost a full week." - Paulie
"no, he just doesn't speak 'stupid'. i, however, am fluent...." - motobrewer
"... I'll go both ways." - Melana

That'll do, Pigley. That'll do.
the_bird is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-18-2006, 02:30 PM   #7
rdwj
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
rdwj's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Plainfield, IL
Posts: 4,594
Liked 19 Times on 14 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by the_bird
See, now THAT would have been a great 1,000th post!

Have you been holding out on us?
I thought my 1000th was pretty good - did you miss it?
__________________
On Tap: Whatever I just brewed (got sick of updating it)
rdwj is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-18-2006, 02:31 PM   #8
the_bird
10th-Level Beer Nerd
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
the_bird's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Adams, MA
Posts: 20,540
Liked 378 Times on 311 Posts
Likes Given: 100

Default

Eh, looked like CGI porn. Not bad, but not realistic. Call me old fashioned!

__________________
Come join Yankee Ingenuity!

"I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch and it's only 6:30 so I can't stop drinking yet." - Yooper's Bob
"Brown eye finally recovered after the abuse it endured in Ptown last weekend, but it took almost a full week." - Paulie
"no, he just doesn't speak 'stupid'. i, however, am fluent...." - motobrewer
"... I'll go both ways." - Melana

That'll do, Pigley. That'll do.
the_bird is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-19-2006, 02:26 AM   #9
treehouse
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Little River, CA
Posts: 172
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by the_bird
Eh, looked like CGI porn. Not bad, but not realistic. Call me old fashioned!
Not realistic? That was the way the maid that cleaned my house the other day was dressed. Well...maybe not quite like that...if I could afford a maid that is...which I can't...But anyway.

I'll still take James over the FemBot. It doesn't look like that feather duster would be very good for scrubing dried hops from a fermenter bucket.
__________________
treehouse is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-19-2006, 02:33 AM   #10
EdWort
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
EdWort's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Bee Cave, Texas
Posts: 11,967
Liked 265 Times on 138 Posts
Likes Given: 7

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
My assistant, James, would be a dignified Englishman like somebody from Upstairs Downstairs who spoke with a slight Scottish brogue. He would be dressed in a dark suit with a clean white appron.


Uh, I got your bitter right here, sir..
__________________
EdWort is offline
 
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Reply



Quick Reply
Message:
Options
Thread Tools


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
SE Mass & RI Homebrew Competition- April 18 Cape Brewing Massachusetts HomeBrew Forum 6 03-10-2009 06:23 PM
I had a dream... Edcculus General Chit Chat 2 07-26-2008 04:39 PM
i have a dream....... Thor the Mighty Extract Brewing 11 07-15-2008 08:16 PM
This is my dream... Dude General Beer Discussion 121 04-04-2007 02:54 AM
Dream a little dream ... david_42 Recipes/Ingredients 4 04-13-2006 04:26 PM