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Old 03-06-2013, 05:39 AM   #1
tripplehazzard
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Default the perfect brew.

I need ideas for a beer. All grain please It has to ;
1. Have fast turnover time.
2. Cheap grain bill.
3. 5 gallon batch.
4. High ibu
5. high abv.
6. Make you wet in the panties.

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Old 03-06-2013, 05:46 AM   #2
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when you find it please let us all know

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Old 03-06-2013, 05:47 AM   #3
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Try unicorn blood I have heard it has all of that.

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Old 03-06-2013, 05:52 AM   #4
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Lmao... unicorn blood.. yes.. that makes perfect sense. Haha. If you brew it they will come.

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Old 03-06-2013, 06:43 AM   #5
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I've got my "house" IPA that's 7.1% and around 95 IBU's. It's bittered with Warrior hops which make for a crisp clean taste and finished with Citra for a grapefruit citrus punch. An excellent brew that seems well balanced with good bitterness and an aftertaste that keeps you wanting more.

12lb 2-Row
2lb Crystal 40
1lb Unicorn Blood

1.75oz Warrior 60min
1oz Citra 20min
1oz Citra 0min

1056 American Ale Yeast (1L starter)

That's about it. Ferment it up on the colder end say, 62-64* to really bring out the citrus notes. With a starter I've gotten to FG in 3 days and had it racked to a carboy by 5 days. Left it in the secondary for another 10 days and basically had it going into the keg on that 15th day and start drinking it. Generally after a week in the keg the heaviest citrus notes mellow out and makes for an extremely drinkable beer.

So drinkable that I've done 4 batches of it now. After that first beer is gone I'm pouring a second at which point I'm thinking about a third but it hits me and the world slows down

I call it my NWIPA for "No Whisk" IPA after a mishap making the recipe on my very first batch (Originally as Extract). I love the stuff and will be brewing a couple more batches up this summer for sure.

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Old 03-06-2013, 06:11 PM   #6
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Quote:
1. Have fast turnover time.
2. Cheap grain bill.
3. 5 gallon batch.
4. High ibu
5. high abv.
6. Make you wet in the panties.
Here's my best shot:

10 lbs. rice from Costco
150 IBUs Calypso Hops (cheapest one I can think of)
1 bottle grain alcohol
Bread Yeast

1) Mash Rice
2) Boil, Add Hops @ 60
3) Cool, top off to 5 gallons, add Yeast
4) Ferment at 100F for 24 hours
5) Add Grain Alcohol
6) And the most important step: Dump all 5 gallons onto your panties.

Mission accomplished!
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Old 03-06-2013, 06:15 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tripplehazzard View Post
I need ideas for a beer. All grain please It has to have...
2. Cheap grain bill.

5. high abv.
IME, these tend to be mutually exclusive.

I've heard that Belgian Blondes can be "panty droppers" but they're not particularly high IBU nor cheap.

If you can forgo the high abv [EDIT--mine tend to run around 6%--dunno if you call that high abv], I'd suggest a Saison with Wyeast3711 and citrusy hops. You can use 2-row plus about 10% wheat, and you'll have a great, easy-drinking beer. 3711 attenuates very well (1.004 or lower in many cases) so you get higher ABV w/o a huge grain bill, plus it gives a great silky mouthfeel and a hint of citrus. That with Centennial/Cascade hops is killer in the late spring & summer.
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Piratwolf: "I've heard that Belgian Blondes can be "panty droppers" but they're not particularly high IBU nor cheap."

jmendez29: Haha! I get it! :ban:
Wait. You're not talking about beer, right?
You're talking about beer. That could have been a whole lot more fun.
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Old 03-06-2013, 09:44 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piratwolf View Post
I've heard that Belgian Blondes can be "panty droppers" but they're not particularly high IBU nor cheap.
Haha! I get it!

Wait. You're not talking about beer, right?

You're talking about beer. That could have been a whole lot more fun.
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Old 03-06-2013, 09:52 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tripplehazzard View Post
I need ideas for a beer. All grain please It has to ;
1. Have fast turnover time.
2. Cheap grain bill.
3. 5 gallon batch.
4. High ibu
5. high abv.
6. Make you wet in the panties.

Really dude?
#1 is just never a good idea. period. Beer is ready when its ready, no sooner, no later.

#1 and #2 and #3 are particularly bad matches

and for that matter so are #2 and #5.
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Old 03-06-2013, 10:42 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackRock View Post
I've got my "house" IPA that's 7.1% and around 95 IBU's. It's bittered with Warrior hops which make for a crisp clean taste and finished with Citra for a grapefruit citrus punch. An excellent brew that seems well balanced with good bitterness and an aftertaste that keeps you wanting more.

12lb 2-Row
2lb Crystal 40
1lb Unicorn Blood

1.75oz Warrior 60min
1oz Citra 20min
1oz Citra 0min

1056 American Ale Yeast (1L starter)

That's about it. Ferment it up on the colder end say, 62-64* to really bring out the citrus notes. With a starter I've gotten to FG in 3 days and had it racked to a carboy by 5 days. Left it in the secondary for another 10 days and basically had it going into the keg on that 15th day and start drinking it. Generally after a week in the keg the heaviest citrus notes mellow out and makes for an extremely drinkable beer.

So drinkable that I've done 4 batches of it now. After that first beer is gone I'm pouring a second at which point I'm thinking about a third but it hits me and the world slows down

I call it my NWIPA for "No Whisk" IPA after a mishap making the recipe on my very first batch (Originally as Extract). I love the stuff and will be brewing a couple more batches up this summer for sure.
When did you ad the unicorn blood. Early boil late boil sounds like a recipe. I will have to say it is tough to find my lhbs doesn't have any right now.
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