Home Brew Forums

Home Brew Forums (http://www.homebrewtalk.com/forum.php)
-   General Beer Discussion (http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/)
-   -   Oh Lord, please help me (http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/oh-lord-please-help-me-380731/)

prrriiide 01-12-2013 02:16 AM

Oh Lord, please help me
SWMBO turns 40 next month, along with several friends. The 17th to be exact. She has come up with the concept (and freely shared it with her other 40th celebratories) the I am to brew 5 gallons of beer utilizing 40 ingredients. After due diligence in dissuading this course of action, it it's clear that I ain't getting out of it.

I have a good stash of about 10 different hops, but they don't like hoppy beers. I'm going to dig into beersmith tomorrow but I'm open to suggestions.

It's going to have to be a lighter beer because a darker probably won't have time to mature.

THIS is a challenge.

Oh, and I already told them it would probably taste like arse.

phenry 01-12-2013 02:29 AM

Well I guess it depends on their definition of an ingredient. If you want to get down to the real nitty gritty, I guess I could say for a regular APA I typically use:
Calcium Chloride
Lactic Acid
Potassium Metabisulfate
Star San
White Wheat
DME for starter
Bell's yeast
Oxygen (it goes in the wort right?)

So that's only 16. I wish you the best of luck. I guess lots of specialty malts in very small quantities. There's no way you can have 40 ingredients all contributing something unique IMHO.

JohnnyO 01-12-2013 02:33 AM

You couldn't have nipped this in the bud and mentioned Crystal-40?

runningweird 01-12-2013 02:38 AM

you could go all weird and use something from each of their zodiac symbols - an edible flower in your brew( orchid is february 17th I think) find the meanings of their names and relate them to something - anything you can toss into a beer. it doesn't even have to lend flavor

or you could just come up with a bunch of stuff, tie it to the birthday and just brew a beer and say you put it in without having to deal with the hassle of having to track down edible flowers.

Atonk 01-12-2013 02:42 AM

Oh my goodness ... well, you could go the route of "drop of honey, pinch of sugar, one speck of dried orange peel..." Best of luck!

501irishred 01-12-2013 02:55 AM

I believe I see the problem here. You are are using you're brewing mind and trying to come up with a legitimate recipe that you think will turn out well. Fortunately, at least from your comment, she hasn't specifically ask for that. :D
8 lb of 2 row
.5 oz of.....
black malt
candi sugar
crystal 20
crystal 40
crystal 60
crystal 80
malted wheat
flaked wheat
white wheat
table sugar
plus a few of Phenry's suggestions...
Calcium Chloride
Lactic Acid
Potassium Metabisulfate
Bell's yeast
Lime peel
Lemon peel
Bitter orange peel
Sweet orange peel
corriander seed
seeds of paradise
your 10 hops makes 40!

The beer will probably suck a**, but look at the plus side: You have fulfilled your SWMBO wish, you can get out of what ever you don't want to do for the next 6 months by saying "can't afford it after making [U]that[U] beer, and you will get to know the guys at your LHBS REALLY WELL (probably best to give them a cooling off period before you go back).

Good luck!

Hackwood 01-12-2013 03:07 AM

I'm still baffled that the OP is stating that he knows of women that are 40?!?!!? The oldest living woman that I've ever heard about is 29:D

RandomBeerGuy 01-12-2013 02:05 PM

How about you make her favorite beer and name after her that seems more appropriate. The random 40 ingredient brew would more than likely taste like shh and then she will be mad at you for wasting money lol

Paramecium 01-12-2013 02:24 PM

Jewbilation has 16 hops, 16 malts and 16% alcohol. You should be able to get another 8 ingredients in there lol.

Redbeard5289 01-12-2013 02:27 PM

How would she know? Is my question.

I would brew up a beer that you know she likes, perhaps add an ounce of black patent to offset the color to diffuse suspicion.
Then present her with a mock recipe of 40 ingredients and have her and friends try to identify each ingredient as they drink this beer. Could lead to some interesting conversations and debating.

Got the idea from my college days when we would buy a keg of non-alcoholic beer and tell our party guests that it was the real deal. Many didn't know the difference.

All times are GMT. The time now is 09:03 PM.

Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.