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-   -   My wife thinks i'm going crazy... (http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/my-wife-thinks-im-going-crazy-307681/)

Hodmokrin 02-25-2012 01:37 PM

My wife thinks i'm going crazy...
SO every time i try to stir up a conversation with my wife about OG, types of yeast, sparging technique etc, she stares at me with a blank look, and then proceeds to tell me she is sick of hearing about brewing, and is seriously worried about my obsession with brewing...... lol. She can't understand how i can read forums literally for hours just dreaming about brewing while not actually brewing. She has no idea why i would go and stare at Co2 bubbling through airlocks several times of day, or why now when we go to the grocery store, i have an active interest spending a great deal of time in the baking/spice sections that previously were unknown to me.

My wife really doesn't care for beer... but she does like wine. So i decided to make some homemade wine for her (if i can get her interested in the subject, my brewing budget should increase SUBSTANTIALLY =))... so that is the plan.

Its not that she really minds all the recent brewing activity, but i was thinking what a great hobby we could share together if only i could get her interested. She isn't much of a drinker at all (maybe once every couple months), so this could be tough.

Has anyone ever converted their anti-brewing wife? Or am i fighting an uphill battle?

ChessRockwell 02-25-2012 01:44 PM

I have been fighting the same battle for months! I'm not winning either, getting pretty much the same response as you...

nattron 02-25-2012 01:50 PM

You are my dopplegannger... I think we all all have problems. My wife is a Miller lite drinker. I brewed a DBIPA and she made the comment that I never brew anything she likes. I can not ferment lager so a Miller lite is out of the question so I go with a kolsh. One sip..... it us ok but I will just drink my Miller lite. Ahhhhhhhh

JRL 02-25-2012 01:51 PM

My wife hates the smell, so I brew exclusively in the garage. I don't think she really likes me brewing as much as I do, or cares that I am as into as I am. o well I like spending time in the garage. If I keep a cream ale around she is happy but now she wants it on nitro.

Dr. Francois 02-25-2012 01:58 PM

My advice: let it die.

Don't be surprised if she is also uninterested in winemaking...many people like products but not processes. I tend to get obsessed with any topic that involves food and craftsmanship (beer, wine, cheese, sausage, pizza, baguette, and the list goes on and on and on). My wife enjoys the results but only tolerates the journey, the learning, the process, the execution.

At first I couldn't understand how someone could NOT be interested in such fascinating topics. Then I met some model train enthusiasts. They can have their hobby all to themselves. I will enjoy observing the fruits of their labors for 45 minutes a year with my train-obsessed son.

I hope train folk get as big of a buzz from trains as I do from converting my gas grill into a brick oven. But if a friend wanted to talk about trains every time we got together, I'd be polite but steer the conversation in a different direction. If his solution was, like yours, to find a related activity I might enjoy more, say RC Cars, I would do my best to accommodate him, but chances are slim I would develop a new obsession.

Atonk 02-25-2012 02:01 PM

Most people can be converted, no matter how much they claim to not like beer, or if they drink light beers only. I've have a few friends and co-workers who made these claims, but it was just a matter of finding a gateway beer.

My neighbor recently started brewing and his wife claims to not like beer, but she does like apfelwein. I gave him Ed's recipe (which she loves) and now his budget has increased and he has permission to put taps into the spare fridge.

Don't give up!

Zorin 02-25-2012 02:03 PM

Facts being told, it doesn't matter what the hobby is, women will always either embrace her man's hobby and go on their merry way or hate it to the point that it becomes the topic of arguements. The other fact here is that, if your your married and brewing beer every weekend, you're probaby not devoting enough time to her, which is more important in the long run. Good luck on your endeavors.


Sardoman 02-25-2012 02:12 PM

Her obsession is clothes shopping/fashion. Always has been. She has been very good about understanding that I just don't care about it. I do my best to offer a substantive opinion when she models her new outfit for me even though I don't really care unless it shows some skin. ;) And she is good about having family and girlfriends to share that obsession with. We have other interests that we share.

So when I started brewing I tried to have the same consideration for her. I try to brew stuff that she will like, mostly to no avail, but I try not to bother her too much about the process because she just doesn't care.

It works for us. She can go shop while I'm home brewing. Maybe you could encourage your wife to more actively pursue one of her interests that could become an obsession of her own.

akimbo78 02-25-2012 02:38 PM

wait until you have kids, and you have to ask when you can brew so that she can watch the kid. makes it tougher, cause now you are affecting her time.

that being said my wife has been understanding, frustrated at times, but she enjoys the end result. i can tell when i'm pushing it. balance.

Hodmokrin 02-25-2012 02:38 PM

We do spend plenty of quality time together. We both have hobbies but i was trying to find something we could both enjoy together.... The way i see it is, the only things worthwhile in life you have to fight for.... so i will continue on the path towards brewing enlightenment, and encourage her to as well, while not being too persistent. Rome wasn't built in a day, and converting a non brewer could take some time. I'm not giving up that easily ;)

I think one of the comments regarding finding a "gateway beer" is a good strategy...

Keep fighting the good fight.....:mug:

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