A beer will never slap you with a claim for alimony, palimony.
Beers don't expect you to be faithful and never ask "Is there another beer?"
Beer is not expensive on vacation.
A beer won't make you trade your motorcycle for a minivan.
Beers don't care about having a lasting relationship.
Afterward beer don't feel guilty and cry.
Beers don't claim to be on a diet then eat half of your dessert.
Beers don't ask what inning is it on 4th down.
You don't have to pretend to be sensitive to have a beer.
When you put your lips on a beer it's never asks "What are you doing?"
A beer won't make you sleep on the sofa.
Beers smells and taste good after a tennis match.
Beers don't complain about the mosquitos on a camping or fishing trip.
Beers don't want to stay up afterward and talk about respect.
A beer won't change it's mind after you've taken it's top off.
You won't have to drive a beer home at 2 am.
You don't have to explain to a beer why a nude beach is better than a Broadway show.
If you decide you want a different type of beer there's no need to get lawyers involved.
You can try light beers or dark beers and not upset you parents.
Beers don't want to have little beers.
A beer looks just as good in the morning as it did at closing time.