Funny things you've overheard about beer

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thatjonguy said:
Yesterday at a chain restaurant in Denver, wasn't anything that was said but done.

Bartender was pouring a Coors Light holding the tap by the base. When he went to close the tap he hit the top of the handle rather hard. Causing the tap handle to fly backwards and hit the wall.

It immediately bounced and opened the tap. Beer everywhere.

Lesson: Don't try to look like a bad ass when pouring beer.
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Friend of mine was showing out docking a boat, backing the engine down at the last moment when the control lever came off. Luckily no major damage except to his ego.
 
Chadwick said:
My father talked about what church was like when he was a kid. He was Catholic and after Sunday mass everyone would go the basement of the church and there was a huge pot-luck type meal and they were served beer to drink. Granted, it was small beer, but it was still beer. 3% stuff, but good tasty beer.

I can't help but think that if this was still a common practice today, more people would be going to church.
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Ummm... yes? To be perfectly honest a community that drinks together stays together. Shared/mutual experiences create relationships and all that.
 
Chadwick said:
My father talked about what church was like when he was a kid. He was Catholic and after Sunday mass everyone would go the basement of the church and there was a huge pot-luck type meal and they were served beer to drink. Granted, it was small beer, but it was still beer. 3% stuff, but good tasty beer.



I can't help but think that if this was still a common practice today, more people would be going to church.
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Every summer, there's a big German Fest in Milwaukee with lots of beer and German music, pig roasts, etc. Apparently, that's what Milwaukee's original German immigrants did every Sunday after church. Sign me up!
 
A family member who will remain nameless discussing my beer -" I have an allergy to yeast, which is why I can't eat sugar"

Me- " what does yeast have to do with sugar?"

Family member- "yeast lives on sugar which is why can't have sugar" as they pop a few grapes in their mouth.

Me-" ok then, I gotta go"
 
JonM said:
Every summer, there's a big German Fest in Milwaukee with lots of beer and German music, pig roasts, etc. Apparently, that's what Milwaukee's original German immigrants did every Sunday after church. Sign me up!
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Lol, my father always loved Germans. Swore he couldn't speak the language, but I witnessed first hand him having many conversations in German with Germans. Of course he was a WW2 vet and I imagine that being fluent in German wasn't a real popular quality at some point in his life. He did always tell me about the qualities of fine German beer and their purity laws.
 
masonsjax said:
The going blind thing comes from disreputable bootleggers diluting their product with antifreeze. It's illegal because of taxes and FUD.
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Actually, it's because careless moonshiners with poor quality control wound up making methanol instead of ethanol. Methanol causes rapid degeneration of the optic nerve.
 
masonsjax said:
The going blind thing comes from disreputable bootleggers diluting their product with antifreeze. It's illegal because of taxes and FUD.
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I think this was indeed a problem in addition to the fact they were making methanol via poor fermentation and distillation practices. Many times they would use the radiator from an old truck or car as their coil. After one of those things has been used I wouldn't trust it no matter how well someone thought they had cleaned and flushed it out. Not all innovation in the face of difficult times is brilliant. While I'm sure it worked well to condense the alcohol it would taint the product for certain.

On a side note, it is interesting to consider that radiators from vehicles with an automatic transmission was considered the favorable choice. You would run water through the transmission cooler part while running your product through the coolant part.
 
Chadwick said:
I think this was indeed a problem in addition to the fact they were making methanol via poor fermentation and distillation practices. Many times they would use the radiator from an old truck or car as their coil. After one of those things has been used I wouldn't trust it no matter how well someone thought they had cleaned and flushed it out. Not all innovation in the face of difficult times is brilliant. While I'm sure it worked well to condense the alcohol it would taint the product for certain.



On a side note, it is interesting to consider that radiators from vehicles with an automatic transmission was considered the favorable choice. You would run water through the transmission cooler part while running your product through the coolant part.
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Moonshine with a hint of lead. Yum.
 
Wolfdust said:
So I dropped off some homebrew to some guys at work. It was a red hefe for the upcoming super bowl. It was originally made for my wife but she didn't like. Gave one to Tom. A week later i asked him if he liked it. "I would but I'm afraid I'll go blind. " I had to explain the going blind is if you distill wrong and that's why its illegal. The worst thing about homebrew Is that you'll like it and won't be able to get it again unless you brew yourself.
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Yes I know that it's illegal because of taxes. I was telling Tom otherwise because he isn't too bright and also to calm his nerves about home brew being safe. On a side note I expected a "well actually ".
 
DoctorMemory said:
Actually, it's because careless moonshiners with poor quality control wound up making methanol instead of ethanol. Methanol causes rapid degeneration of the optic nerve.
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I was on the understanding that methanol was entirely fatal and the optic nerve was simply more sensitive to the effects of methanol. Step 1 blind, step 2 dead. Either way not an issue with homebrew.


Now for something not homebrew related, but a funny thing I overheard.
dude: "Too much garlic"
me: "Is that possible?"
 
I watched a documentary about the history of bootlegging years ago and apparently misremembering some of the detail. I do remember mention of poor distillation practices due to rushing so they wouldn't get caught and they said something about problems with people getting sick and even going blind because of the product being diluted with things like antifreeze. I'm probably just a little foggy on the details, but the methanol from not discarding head runnings makes sense.
 
Zepth said:
Now for something not homebrew related, but a funny thing I overheard.
dude: "Too much garlic"
me: "Is that possible?"
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the moment I knew my sister was a good mother was when my then 12-year-old niece said, "you can't have too much garlic"

but I would have to qualify that and say "can't have too much fresh chopped or minced garlic. you can have too much garlic powder"
 
masonsjax said:
The going blind thing comes from disreputable bootleggers diluting their product with antifreeze. It's illegal because of taxes and FUD.
Click to expand...

DoctorMemory said:
Actually, it's because careless moonshiners with poor quality control wound up making methanol instead of ethanol. Methanol causes rapid degeneration of the optic nerve.
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I recently read an article where its was found that the Feds actually contaminated liquor supplies with methanol on purpose. Resulting in several deaths and cases of blindness.
 
I don't remember if grandma ever told me about it, but it is my understanding that the first & last runnings are methyl alcohol. Which is a little odd to me, since I was taught in school somewhere along the way that methyl alcohol was a petroleum distillate?
 
I never heard what kind of alcohol the heads and tails was, but I remember someone saying you could burn it and if it had any orange in the flame, don't drink it. It is supposed to be a blue flame.
 
Pop & grandma always told me if you lit it & it burned a pure blue flame, you had good moon. Any remaining water in the alcohol would make part of the flame yellow/orange, like alcohol burners in the old chemistry sets that used rubbing alcohol.
 
unionrdr said:
I don't remember if grandma ever told me about it, but it is my understanding that the first & last runnings are methyl alcohol. Which is a little odd to me, since I was taught in school somewhere along the way that methyl alcohol was a petroleum distillate?
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Methanol is also called "wood alcohol", as its commonly a distillate from wood.

It should be the in the first runnings (along with other unwanted byproducts, which is why they are discarded) since the boiling point of methanol is 148.5 and ethanol is 173.

I have also read somewhere that even if one didn't toss the first runnings, one would have to consume enormous amounts of the tainted booze to become ill. And at that much of a concentration you would likely die first from alcohol poisoning. Whether this is true or not, I don't know. I imagine the risk is not worth the reward and the early distillates likely taste like chit.
 
The part she never explained to me was at what temp to distill at, much less how much of the first & last runnings were "tainted"? I honestly can't say. But it seems to me you wouldn't want it to distill too quickly? And her keg charred stuff was really smooth. I've never had any since that could match it.
 
Back to funny beer stuff:

"stouts are so thick I feel like I could slice them" - My wife's boss, who is straight up awesome.
 
I work in a restaurant, always day shifts, and after shift change my co workers and I go next door to the burger joint pretty much every day. They have a good craft and local beer selection, but the servers in there are absolutely clueless.

Once we went in and bought a bucket, the server asked us if we would like that "for here or to go?"

One of the managers, who also has no clue about beer, once told me that his favorite style of beer was a lager ale.

We actually stopped going there. The owner has the tap lines cleaned professionally but whoever does it doesn't rinse or run the beer through the lines so the first few pours are full of line cleaner, which is hard to taste when it's mixed with a cold, hoppy beer- but almost my whole staff has been sick with cramps and sweats the night after their line cleaner comes in. Now we go to the cheapy Mexican restaurant and get 32oz xx Amber for 3 bucks and free chips. Good deal.
 
kombat said:
886 pages, endless off-topic tangents, and this thread is going to get locked due to chatter about distilling? This thread deserves a better fate than that!
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Where is Billy? I think the official berry punch doler outer needs to get busy doling out a few! :rockin:
 
Oberon67 said:
Hmmm... use an ale recipe but a lager yeast, and cold-condition it for six months... hmm...
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Half wheat, half pils, plus carapils (>2%), and a touch of cara 60 (1-2%). East Kent, Fuggles, Perle in hopstand (1/2-1oz each, 170 for 60) and touch of late dryhop (max 1/2oz each during end of secondary). Magnum bittering (aim 30-40ibu, 15min boil before adding bittering charge). Saison yeast for around 3 days of high stage fermentation (after lag time basically) towards the high end range, in order to get a good hit of esters. Freeze, or near freeze the brew to kill yeast/deactivate it/have it drop out. Rack it on to lager yeast, finish fermentation on lager yeast, low temp. Patience. Lager a while. Dryhop. Bottle. Carb. Lager additional 2 weeks.

Esters for depth but mellowed out. Smooth but dry beer. Crisp from lager. Saison lager hybrid. Feel free to brew and inform me of the results. This makes too much sense in my head.

If you do this harvest the yeast to not waste as much. =)


On thread topic: We were discussing mead in my class during lunch for some reason (I think Viking stuff derived from a discussion of Sweden, where we are). I could not recall the exact way it went I am afraid, but the thing was that I noted that it was honey wine and not some mixed stuff. The response I got was: "So it is basically the same as beer? You do that already, why no mead?".
I went on to explain the difference, malt from grains and hops, in simple, friendly terms. Good people, with the open mind you wish everyone to have, just not informed yet. My crusade.
Swedish people are extremly open to craft I notice. Love it.
 
Kiichi said:
Half wheat, half pils, plus carapils (>2%), and a touch of cara 60 (1-2%). East Kent, Fuggles, Perle in hopstand (1/2-1oz each, 170 for 60) and touch of late dryhop (max 1/2oz each during end of secondary). Magnum bittering (aim 30-40ibu, 15min boil before adding bittering charge). Saison yeast for around 3 days of high stage fermentation (after lag time basically) towards the high end range, in order to get a good hit of esters. Freeze, or near freeze the brew to kill yeast/deactivate it/have it drop out. Rack it on to lager yeast, finish fermentation on lager yeast, low temp. Patience. Lager a while. Dryhop. Bottle. Carb. Lager additional 2 weeks.

Esters for depth but mellowed out. Smooth but dry beer. Crisp from lager. Saison lager hybrid. Feel free to brew and inform me of the results. This makes too much sense in my head.

If you do this harvest the yeast to not waste as much. =)
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It seems to me that someone should try this, but it should not be me. I am a beginning brewer, a novice, and this looks like a journeyman brewer's recipe to me. At least.

Still, I think this brew deserves to exist. It could take advantage of the best points of ales and lagers.
 
At a fancy restaurant with the SWMBO, having a drink at the bar.

Hipster fashionista rudely leans over my wife, bumping her out of his way to order a beer. Orders a Stella, but pronounces the full name in an exaggerated French accent. Strike 2.

When he got the beer, turns to his friends and says "love this French stuff".

******^3.
 
unionrdr said:
Pop & grandma always told me if you lit it & it burned a pure blue flame, you had good moon. Any remaining water in the alcohol would make part of the flame yellow/orange, like alcohol burners in the old chemistry sets that used rubbing alcohol.
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It should all burn orange then shouldn't it? Even 180 proof is still 10% water.
 
I heard an add for a brewing degree which may be coming to one of the SUNY schools in WNY. The person advocating works in the brewing industry and their goal was to "start a degree that can get people educated/jobs in the beer brewing industry".

They would also learn how lagers, ales, stouts and porters are made. Even Belgium beers.

I couldn't help but laugh. This was coming from an "expert".
 
Mojzis said:
I heard an add for a brewing degree which may be coming to one of the SUNY schools in WNY. The person advocating works in the brewing industry and their goal was to "start a degree that can get people educated/jobs in the beer brewing industry".

They would also learn how lagers, ales, stouts and porters are made. Even Belgium beers.

I couldn't help but laugh. This was coming from an "expert".
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It's bad man... I have a feeling it was made with good intent and was just translated wrong by the school. Their curriculum is half brewing and half sales and marketing. I was hopeful when I heard about it (from every person that funking knows me) and then embarrassed after reading about it. Then again I may be biased... I signed up for a drafting class there when I was fresh out of high school and ended up teaching the instructor how to use half the tools.
 
TheCADJockey said:
It's bad man... I have a feeling it was made with good intent and was just translated wrong by the school. Their curriculum is half brewing and half sales and marketing. I was hopeful when I heard about it (from every person that funking knows me) and then embarrassed after reading about it. Then again I may be biased... I signed up for a drafting class there when I was fresh out of high school and ended up teaching the instructor how to use half the tools.
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Either way it's not a good start for them. I would be deeply pissed if I paid all that money and can easily get more (correct) info from HBT. :mug:
 
Mojzis said:
Either way it's not a good start for them. I would be deeply pissed if I paid all that money and can easily get more (correct) info from HBT. :mug:
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Agreed. I completely support the addition of brewing related classes added to a business/restaurant management curriculum, but a school like that I just don't think will do a brewing science program justice. How many kids are going to go to that community college now and just sign up because it involves beer?

Their Intro to Brewing class should just link to the beginners forum here to learn from others mistakes and successes.
 
I was at a bar ordering some local brown ale at the weekend and another customer said to me "oh is that craft beer"
Me: "yep, its lovely"
him "does that not blow the head off you?"
me "no its only 4.4% ABV"
him "I drank craft beer once and it was 24%, never again"
 
TheCADJockey said:
Their Intro to Brewing class should just link to the beginners forum here to learn from others mistakes and successes.
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The entrance application should be like those art school apps that make you draw copies of pictures to determine your aptitude. Instead they'll send you a Mr.Beer kit and a bottle of randomly selected craft beer. The instructions will say make a copy of this beer the best you can.
 
At a party over the weekend, brought a ton of home brew. Offered a younger friend one of mine. Happened to be a very fresh ordinary bitter using all English malts, WLP002 and EKG and Fuggles Hops.

Friend: *Takes a sip* Yeah, I'll drink that, tastes like Blue Moon!
Me: *Raises eyebrow* I guess...
Friend: Well, close enough anyhow.

Everything tastes like Blue Moon if that's the only "craft beer" you drink I guess!
 

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