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Old 02-05-2013, 09:21 PM   #1581
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Oh, I just remembered one! It has to do with wine, but it makes no difference...

The wife and I were staying at a hotel once that served homemade wine in it's restaurant. We were in for the night and we were on vacation, so we decided to order the 1 liter carafe of wine and split it.

Waitress: Are you sure you want that much?

Me: Oh, yea. We aren't driving. It's ok.

Waitress: It's a full liter. Maybe you should just start with a glass.

Me: I know. It will be fine. We can split it.

Waitress: but this is a BIG liter of wine.

Me: ....?


I wasn't aware that liters came in different sizes until that night.

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Old 02-05-2013, 10:36 PM   #1582
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Hey Bierliebhaber, was that all from the same guy?

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Old 02-05-2013, 10:54 PM   #1583
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dkwolf
Heck, those are the types of guys worth keeping around just for the comic value.
Those are the Darwin award contenders. Typically statements start out with "Hold my beer and watch this..."
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:01 PM   #1584
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Those are the Darwin award contenders. Typically statements start out with "Hold my beer and watch this..."
oh crap. I'm a contender.
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:04 PM   #1585
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Buddy: Squirt, squirt in the mouth..."HACCCHHH, HACCCHHH! Why'd you let me do that???"
this right here. bwahahahahaha!!
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:04 PM   #1586
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Quote:
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Is your buddy not playing with a full deck?
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Heck, those are the types of guys worth keeping around just for the comic value.
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Hey Bierliebhaber, was that all from the same guy?
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Those are the Darwin award contenders. Typically statements start out with "Hold my beer and watch this..."
Yeah, from the same guy...and yes, he is still with us. I keep him away from my double-jet burner, though. Needless to say, these are only a sample of a brilliant compilation.
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:34 PM   #1587
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Your LHBS put this in their newsletter?
Luckily, I found one much better and closer. There's a few around here that are really nice but clueless.
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:57 PM   #1588
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My LHBS is actually a BOP that sells ingredients too. I was excited to learn that there was someone locally that I could buy grains from and the guy proudly said "we're the only place in town that brews all-grain." I then proceeded to ask what base malts they carried to which he responded by pointing to their bulk drums of LME, glucose and rice syrup. I was curious about their other staff, so I came in another time and asked a different guy about their base malts and he showed me a bucket full of Carastan. I couldn't imagine how a beer brewed with 10 lbs of Carastan would taste.

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Old 02-06-2013, 12:45 AM   #1589
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IME, it's gonna be even more impressive when you hear, "give me another beer, and watch this!"

Chewing hop pellets isn't normal? Hmmmm...I mean, yeah, that story about the guy eating hop pellets, that's some funny stuff! Ha ha!

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Old 02-06-2013, 02:34 AM   #1590
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[...]Chewing hop pellets isn't normal? Hmmmm...I mean, yeah, that story about the guy eating hop pellets, that's some funny stuff! Ha ha!
Been there, made that mistake.

A looooong time ago I went to college in Denver, close enough to Golden that attendance at the Coors hospitality tour was pretty nearly a bi-weekly happening. They actually served some pretty good brews that never saw a hint of commercialization, which was the real draw.

But they wouldn't let you make a bee-line to the tap room - you had to take the whole tour - which after the fifth or sixth became surprisingly monotonous.

So, one time I sidled up to a 35 gallon rolling bin of pressed whole cones and tucked a pinch in my cheek. Once I got that wad masticating the most amazingly potent flavors hit me - like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist.

It screwed up my perception of hops so badly I pretty much stopped drinking beer and switched to Crown Royal for the next few years.

Major bad juju. Fortunately, just a weird memory...

Cheers!
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