I've got a dead-flat beer as well. It's a pumpkin ale we brewed at least two and a half months ago.
The fermentation was fast and furious, over in about 48 hours.
One week in primary, gravity confirmed that it was pretty much done. Two weeks in secondary with a slightly lower gravity on bottling, it's been over a month in the bottles and there is absolutely no carbonation after sampling four bottles.
We know we primed it and did the same thing we always do with great results..zilch.
I might try the shake method or try re-upping the yeast to see if we can't get something drinkable. Totally bummed that it won't be ready for thanksgiving. Guess we should have tried one sooner
