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-   -   You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? [Recipe Edition] (http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f12/you-know-what-really-grinds-my-gears-recipe-edition-338319/)

bobbrews 06-28-2012 01:42 PM

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? [Recipe Edition]
 
We've all seen recipes that made us roll our eyes and click the X button faster than a geek reaches the final level of a brand new video game.

What blunders do you see most often? Whether they are obvious, not so obvious, preventable, big, small, or just poor judgement.

passedpawn 06-28-2012 01:52 PM

Crystal overload

TrubHead 06-28-2012 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by passedpawn (Post 4209207)
Crystal overload

Agreed...overly sweet brews.

Glynn 06-28-2012 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobbrews (Post 4209174)
We've all seen recipes that made us roll our eyes and click the X button faster than a geek reaches the final level of a brand new video game.

What blunders do you see most often? Whether they are obvious, not so obvious, preventable, big, small, or just poor judgement.

Us rookie are always open to suggestions :ban:

TopherM 06-28-2012 03:37 PM

Too many different types of hops. There is still a science to hop additions, and it certainly is not MORE IS BETTER. I hate these guys that think their IIPA is a groundbreaking new invention just because they use 35 different hops. Unless you are using a NEW hop, it's pretty much all been done, and there is a reason that most GOOD recipes are fairly simple!

Also, anyone who follows my posts know my biggest recipe pet peeve is when people call their beer something like a Hefeweizen even through it doesn't have enough or any wheat and doesn't use noble hops, or a Kolsch when it isn't made with Kolsch yeast, or a Lager when they ferment it at ale temps.

I hate the "I can call it anything I want" arguements I get into with these guys. It's like me calling my APA an imperial flemish cream stout. Can I call it that? I guess...first amendment rights and all. Is it that? NO! There are definitions and standards for a reason!

bwomp313 06-28-2012 03:39 PM

fruit

GilaMinumBeer 06-28-2012 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TopherM (Post 4209489)
Too many different types of hops. There is still a science to hop additions, and it certainly is not MORE IS BETTER. I hate these guys that think their IIPA is a groundbreaking new invention just because they use 35 different hops. Unless you are using a NEW hop, it's pretty much all been done, and there is a reason that most GOOD recipes are fairly simple!

Also, anyone who follows my posts know my biggest recipe pet peeve is when people call their beer something like a Hefeweizen even through it doesn't have enough or any wheat and doesn't use noble hops, or a Kolsch when it isn't made with Kolsch yeast, or a Lager when they ferment it at ale temps.

I hate the "I can call it anything I want" arguements I get into with these guys. It's like me calling my APA an imperial flemish cream stout. Can I call it that? I guess...first amendment rights and all. Is it that? NO! There are definitions and standards for a reason!

I hear you brother, but, until it was defined it was whatever the brewer wanted it to be. Not everything can be boxed in all neat and tidy. They are simply guidelines, not laws.

TopherM 06-28-2012 04:13 PM

Quote:

They are simply guidelines, not laws.
LOL...this is where I beg to differ. Commence rant!

There are some styles that ARE strictly defined, like the Hefeweizens, Lagers, Kolsch examples I used. You simply CAN'T make a Hefeweizen without at least 50% of the grain bill being wheat malt and the hops being noble hops. There ARE German regulations that strictly define the style as such! If your beer has 49% wheat, it ISN'T a Hefewiezen any more than it is a Diet Cherry Coke with lime.

Lagers.....no matter what Cooper's says, you can't make a Lager without lager yeast and a proper lagering procedure. The style has these strict minimum requirements. Add all you want from there, but you CAN NOT subtract these defining characteristics. The newbie who makes a kit with Light LME, Saaz hops, and S-04 yeast and ferments it at 82F can call it a lager all day, but it just ISN'T a lager. They might be mistaken, but that doesn't make them any less wrong.

Kolsch - Kolsch yeasts are engineered to have the phenoyl characteristics of an ale, but the finishing characteristics of a lager. You CAN NOT make a Kolsch without Kolsch yeast. It is the defining characteristic. It's a rule! You really can't make a Kolsch without some resemblance of a lagering procedure. It is silly to make a beer with Two-row, Citra, and S-05 and call it a Kolsch, just because you like the way it sounds. It's ignorant. It's like calling that guy you met only one time by the wrong name. His name is Dave, NOT John. No matter how much you think his name is John and swear that's what he told you back in 2010, that's just not his name.

Sorry, this is the arguement I always get into. Don't pull the semantics card on me, that's far from the point.

There are established standards for a good number of beer styles. You can choose to not acknowledge these standards, but that doesn't make you right. It makes you anti-social.

YOUCANNOTPUTSPACINGORPUNCTUATIONINYOURPOSTBECAUSEY OUDONTBELIEVEINITBUTBYTHEESTABLISHEDSTANDARDSYOUAR EWRONG.

Without rules and definitions, there is only chaos.

Now I'm off to brew a batch of sour apple mead. I make mine with fermented lobster instead of honey, and tennis balls instead of apples.

Rant over!

MisterTipsy 06-28-2012 04:15 PM

Other people's recipes don't grind my gears. I consider myself lucky in that regard.

Brewers who absolutely must brew to style make my eyes roll a bit, but they don't grind my gears.

HawksBrewer 06-28-2012 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterTipsy (Post 4209612)
Other people's recipes don't grind my gears. I consider myself lucky in that regard.

Brewers who absolutely must brew to style make my eyes roll a bit, but they don't grind my gears.

This +1000. I like to brew good beer that my friends, family and I like to drink. I don't give a s#!t what anyone else says. If they have a problem w/ what I call it I will present it as such: "Would you like a beer styled beer?"


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