Well, it's certainly an interesting take on the style. I don't want to seem like a style nazi here, but for my tastes, the BJCP status quo makes a very nice beer. In short, I'd use a quality English basemalt (Maris Otter, Tipple, Optic, Golden Promise, Halycon) and drop the toasted malt. All that munich and toasted malt is going to make a very malty mild, probably too much so. For crystal, a mix of dark and light is good... I generally like going for around 8-10% medium crystal and then another 3-5% dark (120-150). Pale chocolate is fine, great stuff, but a full LB is prob a bit much. Maybe bring that down to 5% max, or you can sub it out for less chocolate malt if you want more roast character. Yeast choice and SG looks good. Only other thing I would add is that most milds taste best rather young. If it's not tasting great a few weeks out the fermenter, I'd suspect there are issues somewhere along the line.